11.27.2003

broke my hart in sam clams' disco



i fucked up.

"your hurt, your hurt real fuckin bad. But the good thing about a shot in the belly is it takes a very long time to die from it"

i will fucking prevail
i will fucking prevail
i will fucking prevail

thank you jesus christ for everything.

11.17.2003

i have tasted stolen tacos



i dont really have anything to say, atleast nothing life changing..(but whats new?)....im tired of looking at that last post (what was i thinking?).
Update on my life....ive been single for like 3 weeks, and that is continuing to be very weird...
We had a party this past saturday, it was pretty crazy....and i assume it made a 8 or so on Paul's cool party scale.....mostly because he took too many greens...meh, a woman put him to shame, its shameful. Me, personally, actually got people, besides people from Katy, to come, and i was semi-pleased with myself. Fun, blah blah....i still question its existence....not really.
I worked the UTvsTech football game, and i liked it....and i like it when i watch football and like it....so it was liked. However, i did not enjoy the John Meyer concert which i worked last night. He is very boring, and somehow stretched out one albums worth of music into 2 hours and 10 minutes....then proceded to tell us he was going to sign autographs but waiting 2 hours after to concert to see the crowd, when only the most ugly of the uglies were left to get his John Hancock all over their shit-merchandise....he blows. He also does not impress me with back to back repetitive guitar solos, and saying "....Austin..." atleast 10 times to get his fans/women to pop all night.

uh....gotta write a 8 page paper about "X".....no, not "X2"...."X".....the one with scary black men.
This weekend i must film in katy, then return there the next wednesday to edit this film...hopefully.....unless God hates me.

time will tell the tale

something nice: "good luck with the rest of your semester, if you do that kinda thing"

11.07.2003

dear God



i love you.
but on a side note...
jeez....this new zebrahead album is coming at a good time for me.
its reminded me of thoughts i never think about anymore. Its rock music that enrages me. and i like it.

i guess it taps into more juvenile ideas...
i will always be an angsty teen at heart.

maybe not.

11.05.2003

Shit.



I think i found some truths in the doctrine of the Nation of Islam, kinda. I like their idea of the "percentages" of people. like...how 10% of mankind are the Corporate fuckers, 85% are the deaf dumb and blind, and 5% are the poor righteous teachers. It kind of falls in line with my Robot theory....if youve ever heard me talk about people being robots, im mostly just talking about people so dumb that i question whether they are real or not. Like everyone they pick for MTV shows, all those dating shows, QVC, reality series's, people who think 'the OC' is quality entertainment, etc....those people make me wonder (just kidding all you OC-ers out there). But the nation of islam, if you leave out all the racial stuff, like believing that african americans are rulers of all races and are simply in a state of punishment, under white rule. If you disreguard that...its just like a lot of religions. Comforting mostly. But seriously, i dont know if it is 5% exactly, but sometimes its easy to look and think "fuck, im surrounded with stupidity,"........but then maybe you are just being self righteous. So, by me/you thinking were smarter than a majority of people, were just passing off needless judgement, and im coming off as dicks.
I tend to base all jugements on actions, and i think most peoples actions dont reflect what they think when they are alone....im probably a prime example of this, maybe......but because i dont know if i should judge people by actions or thoughts, i guess i should not pass judgement at all......and follow this NOI thing, and just teach.......
not that i want to be a NOI member or anything....i just think they have a decent theory......not really a 'good' theory....but decent, i guess just "decent" because by agreeing with this percentage theory, you are kind of passing judgement on people inheirently....and God should be the only judge right? But then again...in the NOI, the members believe they are gods, or a part of god....(hence the fading trend of calling people "G," g for god)

its good to think about not judging people, and i think its possible to minimize it....but its pretty impossible to not do it entirely.....its just too fun.....atleast in a mild manor to people who do outlandishly stupid things......

HipHop is crazycool...ya

and in "celebration" of the Matrix3 coming out today...here is a little hip hop article making reference to it, but instead of Neo we have the new-school rapper, and.....well, you get it....you are smart.

"Suppose our artist embarked on a pilgrimage to break bread with a seasoned, old-school Hip-Hop legend and discuss his lingering uneasiness with the state of the business -- despite the millions he could potentially earn from recording mediocre, radio-friendly Rap songs? What if their conversation went something like this?

Old-School Rapper: I know exactly why you're here. You know something. What you know you can't explain. You sense that there's something wrong with the Hip-Hop industry. Do you know what I'm talking about?

New-School Rapper: I think so. The Hip-Hop Matrix?

Old-School Rapper: True indeed. The Hip-Hop Matrix is everywhere. It is all around us, even now in this very room. You can see it when you look out your window or when you turn on your television -- especially if it's tuned to BET between 3 and 8 p.m. weekdays. You can feel it when you go to the clubs, when you drive in your car, and when you go to the mall. It is the wool that has been pulled over your eyes and ears to shield you from the truth.

New-School Rapper: What truth?

Old-School Rapper: That you are a slave, New-School Rapper, helping to build a prison that you cannot smell or taste or touch. A prison for the mind. Unfortunately, no one can be told what the Hip-Hop Matrix is. You have to experience it for yourself. (Old-School Rapper produces a box and opens it, revealing a blue microphone and a red microphone.) You take the blue mic and you instantly return to the world of commercial success and the perceived rewards that come with it. Your singles will receive heavy rotation on every major urban radio station across the country. You will receive numerous awards and accolades, as well as product endorsements and movie deals. You might even be granted the opportunity to launch a clothing line. However, if you take the red mic, you will see the light of knowledge, wisdom and overstanding. You will feel compelled to share this knowledge through the power of your words -- the power of the mic. Only then will you truly be free. Remember, all I'm offering is the truth, nothing more ... "

i thought it was neat....hmm.....now what should i name this post?...::ponders for awhile::