pay to come

As I read over an email response from a doctor in New York on the price of penis enlargements, I can't help but think about/attempt to analyze "my generation."

I wish I was knowlegeable enough to attack this subject, but sadly I can not speak from outside the box. I simply can make guesses from inside, seeing as how I can't really see the whole thing...and am predominately stupid. (please tell me Im not).

Generation Y. Apparently I fall into this title. Born after the Baby Boomers were no longer young and just as the hardcore motherfuckers of Generation X had begun their descent into boredom with everything including rejection. We don't remember the challenger. We didn't care about the Iraqi war. We fueled the birth of the internet or rather...the socialization of it. We got a little sad when those planes crashed into those buildings, which apparently ends our generation prematurely and starts the next.....those fucks don't even know what a VHS player is.....excuse me....VCR.

These may be the events, but how are we described? What makes us what we are?
I don't think we got any of the good adjectives. Baby Boomers got to be progressive and make it okay to change (then say it isn't later), Gen X got to shit on everything and not care, triumphantly. We got the internet and an early case of manic nostalgia? mostly for everything 80s? What the hell is that? we aren't angry, we aren't instigators of change of any kind, we aren't even really listless...just conflicted....we pop our pills and start talking about old ninja turtles episodes... (which is okay by me...im still in the box here)....but just like that, we choose not to snap out of it and make a decision to be something aside from meandering....Where's the fucking estuary?

We're benign, but filled with somewhat trite motivation...if not faux. We want seemingly what our baby boomer parents presently want....just more of the same. And we don't even have to put up a fight....it's already the reward for being "good." And don't I know it....have you hung out with me and my parents? they kinda have it made. But its like we can't define ourselves without them....like we can't leave the pouch....not to be conceded, but Joey-Syndrome?

As i take a break from editing a bunch of middleaged baptists talk about drug abuse, im seeing my parent's lifestyle now as something i somehow fooled myself into thinking was "right" and "good".......Although, my parents are pretty cool....
....im conflicted.

I refuse to believe the baby boomers were somehow this 'great' or 'smart' that they have seemingly figured out what is good for America for more than one generation....I would like to be able to disagree.

Eventually they will start dying in droves and then maybe....when we are all parentless, sad, and pathetic, we will make some different choices, and we can create a somewhat more definable mark on this country/planet....Hopefully it won't just be further democratization of media to the point where it kills mainstream media.....that would be interesting...although a loss of an industry.

Generation X sucked...only because they brought about Pearl Jam. I could have done without Pearl Jam.

clerks 2

I just came after writing that title.

But it pales in comparison to how many times I wanted to cum during the regional premiere of Clerks 2 at the Paramount last night.

I don't know if you know this about me (you do), but I like movies. I like motion pictures more than anything in the world including God in a manner of speaking...ofcourse I like to believe God is everything, and at the same time the provider of Men's innovation....so I see everything two fold. But anyways...movies....love 'em. They influence pretty much every aspect of my life.....But Why?
There is nearly one answer why I love them so very much, and that reason just might be Kevin Smith movies (and a few others) Before I had seen Mallrats or later Clerks, who was I???
All I can remember are shadows and echoey shrieks coming from a distance....

All I am really trying to say is that I would be a radically different person if it were not for Clerks....and I truly believe that to my core. Clerks made me realize something. Having a friend or two and making light of your life are the most valuable keys to enjoying life....or rather my life specifically. I may have eventually figured this out, but Clerks specifically made it crystal clear. I needed to make fun of absolutely everything with people who liked to do the same.
In essence, it created my personal motto.....everything is funny if you want it to be and need it to be.

I love Dante and Randal. What can I say? I am Dante in my mind...maybe with a bit more ambition, but with far less sexual exploits....so it evens out. And Daren will always be Randal to me, and that will never be replaced. It's too perfect.
Me and him, just as Dante and Randal will always be sitting behind a counter making fun of people using awesomely offensive language and talking about movies. Not to mention (and Ill lift this directly from Mr. Smith) being one cock in the mouth shy from being insanely gay for each other.

After all this identification and adoration for these characters for the past...ill say 9 years of my life, it's interesting to me that I am now finally (about) the age of Dante and Randal....and I'm more passionate about them than ever, but here I am given another picture of these same characters 10 years down the road....10 years away from my present age, again.
It's weird.
But it fills me.
Not sure with what yet, aside from my packed-with-semen chones. (is that the right mezzican spelling? it means underpants)

Looking forward to seeing how this new film will affect me in a variety of ways. (after over-obsessively watching it 50 times).
It's inspiration for me.

Thanks Mr. Kevin Smith....this sounds really gay, but you are in fact my hero.

But yeah....the movie is really funny/endearing....and even if you don't want bend over and let Kevin Smith and Co. cram their private parts into you....you will still prolly like it.
I promise.
If I ever start writing real reviews I would put this tag on it, as my ceal of approval...
"I'm going to tell my mom to watch it."




This will be the best movie of the summer for me...so everything else can quite trying.

Also...Pirates of The Carribean 2 was not good....for me. But I would recommend you see it anyway, So I can tell you to blow it out your shitty ass....I'll be seeing it again at some point, for visual effects mostly.

I have to go do the silence of the lambs dance now.

souper shit

Paul reminded me of this...
...SOUPER SALAD....
is by far the worst franchised load of shit ever.
I've never been more dissatisfied after trying more than 4 plates of food and tossing each aside in search for something that was actually worth the 8 bucks.
I always thought it was kind of a hip little salad/soup place....but in fact reminds more of a denny's than anything else....except far worse....if you can imagine that.

go ahead and try.....are you imagining your own asshole with shit dangling, inches away from urine filled toilet water? If so, you are close to what I would consider the perfect analogy.

and for the record im very excited about Snakes On A Plane, and have been for what seems like before christmas....
However...clerks 2 is in like less than 16 days now.....i have priorities......



Superman is good.....sadly...upon a second watch....not as spectacular as id hoped.

still waiting for spectacular.....







you tried to kill me, you son of a bitch........Now welcome to the revolution.