Its a melancholy morn...

and im awake, and feeling rather low.....for no reason. I hate these sudden bursts of declined mood. Maybe it was incorporating fruit (grapes) into my diet again. I hadn't eaten fruit in what seems like a month. Maybe the depredations created by not eating fruit was eliciting a positive effect on mood. Although it might not be.....but maybe i wont eat fruit anymore. I'll stick to vegetables....this is assuming its a chemical thing. Which...its prolly not. More than likely, Its the anxiety of change (Finishing School and Moving back to Katy).
Soon, I'll be back in Katy....with a mundane job, and nothing to do but sit around and stare at the walls, and watch people die. Atleast their is kerosene around.....ill find something to do. Do i sound punk?

Replace kerosene with video-camera and you will have my true intentions....


I had a good idea for a movie. A man begins his own mormon-esque/perfectionist religion....going through several tribulations to increase he and his newly founded commune's bonhomie. He gets married, and his wife....and she is just as dedicated to gaudy-religion as he. They even claim to "hear," aurally, God. But then, the bitch dies.....and then the guy spends endless nights disturbing nights trying to resurrect his wife. He never accomplishes it, and you pity the fucker for going too far with religion. Then he goes blind somehow, and he goes to live with his mother who abuses him, as he digresses to a childs mentality. The end would be him dying on a floor in a fetal position. It would be a black comedy. Not "black" like black people....black...like....beyond "dark" comedy. Or maybe "black" like black people...but its hard to make black people look really really feeble....



maybe im wrong...(?)
...The point would be to downplay religion, and uplift independent study of religion, making it a personal thing, instead of social dung......maybe its stupid.


i cant find anything to make me laugh tonight....
not even the Handsome Boy Modeling Boy song "Modeling Sucks" does the trick.......that usually gets me every time......
Spiderman's out this weekend...kewl

Taciturn rape dream...ew

alright....im just gonna do this quick, so i can dictate to you all the most abominable dream that ive ever had to sleep through. Truly this is the most macambre and profane thing my mind has ever vomited. Alright, Im in a very southern border-esque town in texas. Altough me and a group of unsanctioned law enforcement people are inside of a building, it's furiously hot. As i look outside i see the sun is ardent and unremitting. Me and the crew of older men are viewing some tapes on a 80s television set (very grainy imaging). I think im supposed to be in the psychological area of my department, because the content of the tapes is the most morbid shit one could contemplate. Im gonna try to transscribe the details a bit, but you have no idea the horror i awoke too in the middle of the night.
We were watching prison tapes from a dirt floored, seedy, non-airconditioned, boiling mexican prison. Apparently, video cameras had just been introduced to the masses and much experimenting was taking place. In this case i was watching the habits of prisoners. We sifted through some tapes, of which there was moderately disturbing things (ie jew concetration camp-ish) but then, i came to a prisoner whos visage matched that of Charles Hughes. For any of you who know, this particular visage is not a pleasent one. On top of that, the short chubby dirty pimply sweaty hispanic was naked, and also fettered loosely. After about 2 hours it seemed, Charles was given three slightly larger and uglier, nude hispanic cell-mates. A short time passes and then the shackled cell-mates use their bulk and start beating the shit out of charles, leaving him very bloody and in a panic. Then one cellmate tosses Charles' sack-like body to the floor, and begins to penetrate his anus, ofcourse, in a "prison rape" style. Another inmate picks up charles sullied head by the hair and force feeds him his dick by jarring open his mouth with one hand, and pulling his hair with another. Charles goes into an extreme panic and the more he resists the more they 3 inmates bludgeon him to a fucking pulp. The 2 larger hispanics shoot their loads into Charles' cavities, and they begin to rotate in taking turns. This seems to go on for hours, and with every second passing, Charles becomes more and more langusihed. The sight of seeing one man fuck his ass, another forcing oral sex, and him, laying there, becoming listless from exhaustion was fucking disturbing. After a good number of rapeish climaxes are achieved, a break is taken by the three, and then the dust settles, and Im exposed to what is left of Charles. He seems dead. He has dried blood covered with a fresh coat of blood, which is working as an adhesive for the sand he is covered in. his face is near black with cracks of brown and red running down where tears and sweat reveal his battered skin. Yellow semen mixed with sweat seems to ooze thickly from not only his asshole, but his mouth. Other patches of dried semen are evident throughout the course of his burning back, face, and hair. I cant tell if their is breath coming from his severely chapped and bloody lips, but i see a slight tremor in one of his fingers. By this time, I am thoroughly sick, but i do not wake up. We go through several more tapes that reveal that the tale does not end, and that the next day, the unrelinquished prisoners begin there rape party again. The three, still seeming to enjoy themselves, are so tanciturn in their efforts, it scares the shit from me even now. By the end of the 2nd or 3rd day, charles is fucking dead, and the rape enthusiasts are officially necrophiliacs.
Eventually, I suppose, hardened semen was blocking all orifices, because they pushed the body to the corner......after seeing the last kick of the body...i awoke in a sweat. And the Worst possible image in my mind! I will never forget what Charles' body looks like getting raped by 3 men, and him lying there, exhausted, unable to fight back......
sorry this is fucked up.....but you now know something of my horror that will haunt me for atleast......a week or so......

i wonder how charles hughes is doing......i feel like i should call him or something......

dont go chasing waterfalls...in a car

lisa lefteye lopes died this morning in a car accident. she just recently had signed to Death Row records with a big album slated for the spring i believe.

its sad...i enjoyed TLC in my early adolesence.....

-the (my) boozing album is tentatively titled "Party You Pirate" (any objections?)......and will be a double album......including all the hits: I want to party on your pussy, goddamn electric, you shook me all night long, too drunk to fuck, firewater, cheap sunglasses, gin and juice and so much more!
hmm, otherwise....its the weekend and im gonna let my indolence set in....
later....

we want the funk...

so apparently george clinton is the shit....and i never realized it. Im tiptoing into some prince too. If i had money, i would be consuming my brains out! I also listened to some of Elliot's Blackalicious grooves, and those were pretty propitious to my ears. I really really like the song "Chemical Calisthenics." The ending is quite tribal and spawns alot of jittery gyrating. Also, not abandoning my music theme, im having trouble with a couple of songs from my "booze party" compilation. I need to decide between Sublime's Carress me down/40oz to freedom; Aerosmith's Living on the Edge/Sweet Emotion; Prince's Pussy Control/Kiss; or George Clinton's WeWantTheFunk/Flashlight. So if you wanna make a comment and give me your opinion, id be greatful, for the interim. Alright, now im gonna abandon music....
This afternoon, while attending my rtf discussion class, i sat wearily listening to other student's presentation on stereotypes in america. One student, in the course of his "intertextual" argument, went about showing a clip from one of my favorite movies, "chasing amy". This sparked my attention, and brought upon an eventual reorganization of my thoughts on minorities in media due to this fellow student's diatribe about the fact that their are no famous male asian actors that dont know martial arts. Post-class, i came to my room, feeling benign about my new concept and the affirmation that im much less socially rascist than i was last year. (its even more evident with my new penchant for hip hop, and yesterdays acertaining of funk.) But as i said, i came to my room, sat down, and after five minutes Jenny says something along the lines of "i wish i had slaves." I know she was just joking (and really isn't racist), but still.....how absurd that would be!

if anyone knows of a good image program that converts gifs into jpgs, let me know.

what if your slaves looked like this!

ready for akk-shuuun

well....i was ready

i made this nice juicy post about how i went to governement today and these ugly people were talking about pedophiliac rights. And how they were catholic, and left-winged, and how they hated right-wing people and how being a pedophile is a sexual preference...........and also some stuff about elementary school children (not pertaining to pedophilism) that were on a field trip, that made me feel better about myself.....it was really quite funny

but it all got fucked.....cause......i guess it took me too long to type.....and for some reason this program im using decided not to work properly and i lost the whole bit.
so......i guess im learning still, and will remain quite novice at this whole weblog stuff for awhile......bare wit me man....

oh ya....if you can suck a good "party" or "boozing" song from your brain........tell me



this should be a picture advertising the movie "Vulgar" which a viewaskew production, written and directed by Bryan Johson, starring Brian O'Halloran. It's getting released by Lions Gate soon, although it will be very limited. For a brief synopsis, a clown gets his own tv show, but soon his success is put in jeopardy by his past. There is a 20 minute long rape seen, and a clown killing people.......so definitely check it out. (www.vulgarthemovie.com)

just seeing if i can put an image on here...
if you are able to see this....im sorry

note to self: never be caught clad in a "bluebird" shirt......for fear of being associated with this person

as you might could tell, im doing alot of checking back...so the majority of these hits are mine. Is that deceptive?

Hello,
Im starting a page......due to elliot and lance having pages that i read all the time.
My goal is predominately to practice writing. i feel i should atleast write some sort of anecdote everyday. I have a bound journal that i occasionally write in, but i feel this will be more-better. also, it allows people to know things about me, w/o having to talk to me....which is cool. Less time wasted

i beg of elliots and lance's clemency, for emulating them so brashly....i guess

alright then.
wish me luck, fuckers...