CradleOfFilth=SellOuts

the woman who smokes marlboro red 100s just walked in and im reminded of yesterday. Yesterday, i found out Darens grandmother died. Its very unsettling, being able to hear the distraught in his voice, and grief in his eyes. Her death seems to have brought out some bitterness, but maybe its a healthy bitterness....only for the fact that its been directed at his family in one way or another and he is letting loose some of the pinned up anger.
She died of emphesema....or atleast i was under the impression that was the main thing.....and if youve ever seen anyone dying of emphasema, you never want to touch a cigarrette again....until your drinking atleast.
Its weird to me seeing my best friend shredded to shit inside....This is like, his first experience as an adult (and not a small non-understanding child) with a death in the family. I've had like 8 or 9 deaths in my family...5 i can remember......but i was born with an abnormal amount of great/grandparents. Sadly, the death thats bothered me the most was probably my dog Rebel. He spent 14 years of my life with me, and was a very good friend through alot of troubling childhood stuff. I hated moving to a different town nearly every year of my life...it wasn't easy for me. Oh well......ill be attending darens grandma's funeral on friday, i think. Shes kickin it now, knowing all the knowable and shit....with god. So im jealous.

I put up a pool table in my garage...it is cool, but hot.
The Hulk is fucking amazing....Ang Lee took a comic character and turned it into a highly stylized art film about inner demons. And i love that take on the character, because along with the editing and colors, it has the same feel of the comic. I was happy it wasn't an all-out summer popcorn movie.....A lot of people i know, that love movies and comics didn't like this movie, and i just dont understand it, so fuck them.
The Hulk character is awesome and also fucking hilarious, to me....esp when he does wrestling stuff.
The new 311 single, "creatures (for awhile)" is great...and this album is going to be better than anything theyve done before, i believe.

i want to eat ranch dressing....only

rubardo

i think this site needs an overhaul
i actually looked at it for the second day in a row, it seems to have lost its flare. But then again, what flare did it really begin with? i dont know...its just drab.
No one reads this crap over the summer anyway...i guess i should relearn some dumby-html on blogger...they seem to have gotten their shit together...

Im going to start reading a book soon...i think it will be "johnny got his gun"...most famous for the independent film from the 60s (i believe...perhaps 50s?) that was spliced with the first metallica video appropriately titled, "one."

Today i feel normal again...ive felt carefree today, excited, talkative, humorous, strange, estranged, and aroused........so im getting back in the swing of being a swingin' human being.

Im also very excited about this new short film ive been working on...i think its going to be insane!
The plot: Man eats bad mexican food, begins hallucinating, and is haunted by childhood toy.
Tagline: Childhood is dead.

FUCK childhood....

i go crazy just like you i do

well...
i haven't posted in a stillborns lifetime which may be nothing, but whatever im gross...
so...
ill post now...
As you can tell by the previsou post...ive been working a shitload at my fathers work.
Thinking about life, existence...as always. Its become mroe puzzling than ever, but i think my faith in god has increased immensely....eveything sorta became real (and in a way not real)....
my main question now is why does anything exist?
what purpose does anything have?
i think dying will answer so many questions to all these crappy thoughts that can plague your life....it will be like opening an infinite amount of eyes to everything ever...
which is a bad explanation

But anyways...im not feeling so depressed about anymore, and im not obsessiing...so im happy now

So much good music has flooded into the world recently...i haven't even had time get to know it all...

as soon as the deftones album came out, it sudddenly was eclipsed by the monster that is the new metallica cd.
St Anger.....is good. If you like metal that is. Its such a strange album. Its seems to be purposely poorly mixed/produced....sorta minmalist, if you will.
It sounds very raw, and i think thats what metal needs.
This idea of making something sound like crap to make it more real is cool, and makes me not really wanna go back and listen to deftones...
however....after the new 311 eclipses this St Anger thing, i will surely return to it.

I think ill try to include detailed reviews in some sort of summer-wrap up post, once i get back into the school thing.

Short films seem to be progressing well, even with the lack of time.
I feel it is my purpose....to drag people out of their human realities and search for something else in this existence. Even if it entails making a film about a my pet monster killing childhood memories........

-j

im working now...
im tired now...

but things are going well...

i lack energy to type...

i think i will eat a sandwich for lunch...

birth anniversary is coming...
im having a party on saturday...
i hope people come...

i wonder if i will get gifts...
i like small gifts...

my pet monster is my first gift...
i wrote a short about him...

opie wanted to punch me...
he has had sex with cassy meyers and michele sibley...
two people i would never have sex with...

even if i loved and married them...

mikes computer is fun...
adobe is fun in general...

i need a delicious piece...of you all

chicken fried cheese is a weird concept.