suck'n in the workforce

im bad and irresponsible, or that's how the world makes me feel on a consistent basis these past weeks (Ive been yelled at a lot the past month). Starting a new job 3 weeks in a row i suppose is to blame, too many schedles too many forgettable responsibilities. I remember moving to new places in my earlier years, and learning new names, new people, and new ways of living and the need for you to learn everything in your first 5 minutes post-arrival never existed. But it is out of necessity in the working world of today. People have to work together. quickly, as products to create more product. Everything providing the providers. Yet still, learning the names of about 45-100 people (if you included American Idol, but lets not and say 45) is still quite the challenge for me. If you dont know this about me, I have a very slow memory, which is one of the most frustrating things about being inside this body. It takes me a minute to think of things reguardless of how obvious it is. It also creates stuttering, incoherent sentences, trailing off, and my favorite...stopping mid-sentence, discombobulted to the max. I don't remember things always being like this. When I was younger I had less damage from the drugs and alcohol, and less needless thoughts about the meaning of existence, but that's not what im pointing blame at now. I blame the speed of living we have ourselves up to in this world. I always have had an infatuation with speed, but on external things, not my internal sense of time which everyone on earth has aided me in making exponentially faster.
But there is always an excuse i suppose.
Despite the flames reaching my knees, my hair now being ash in the wind, and my mind aflame, i keep on trucking in hopes for a payoff...of any kind.
I wasn't meant for communications, I was meant for math problems in a cubical, but I continue to battle my destiny with a notebook and a pen...but more often with the big fucking chainsaw in my head.



tonight is 311. I'm going to guess the opener will be "welcome" or "don't tread on me"
but im secretly hoping for "hive"
i do hope they play "ill be here awhile" at some point...it always will remain my 20-something anthem...

Let's step out tonight...all night....It's a better feeling with my friends....once again.

katrina

wow, this whole thing is really fucked huh.
I would encourage anyone who actually reads this to donate some money to these people, but you dont really need my encouragement...just watch cable tv for a few seconds.
I was considering offering up my house for some stranger. But I don't have an extra room technically, and am not financially stable enough to provide anything for anyone really, but we will see i guess.


lots of changes in my life, as well as pretty much everyones in the states. changechangechange.

new 311 album....you prolly wont like it, but i do as per usual.
Im becoming mildly interested in tv with this new Life with Earl show....and that chris rock show....and that sunny in philidelphia show....too bad the biggest national catasrophe ever will swallow any attention it would receive if people had time for it.