seek me hide me

new word to describe me is misanthropic. atleast i think so.
sorry for the lack of updates...ive prolly lost my small cult following....maybe i should start an occult following...then no one could ever 'leave'
anyways...ive been pretty busy..being a social butterfly, getting a job, etc. However today im going to stay home and watch Waking Life, which came out on video/dvd recently. I haven't seen my dads visage since like sunday...yet ive been here atleast for a little while everyday. Oh well...im also waiting on a sure-call from jason's deli...for some reason, in my interview, i was very extroverted, affable, and on the offensive..and consequently the guy seemed to like me...and wanted to get me a job above other people applying.
Yesterday i drank socially with my friends...and i think i have gotten grasp of all the secret things in katy....and i feel its less out of control, atleast presumably in my mind.
Saturday, im supposed to go write a script with Mike C and Daren...so i have to come up with things today, but i exercised earlier and i have the runners-high....which is the gayest high of all...it makes me feel ill rather than "cool"....cause everyone who gets high is cool, right?
on other thing, star wars 2 isn't that bad....it was enjoyable....except for the worst dialogue in history....and the hottest jew ever is Natalie Portman.
there is so much more to tell, but i wouldn;t want to spoil the surprise...

(that was from se7en)

site is down, i think...

hmm....i hope its a temporary problem...
tomorrow im going back to austin, for my cousins graduation. She is a smart baptist girl, but she was also recently purposed to by an atheist...which is disturbing the family. Oh well...the revolution keeps on churning...
Had some good conversation yesterday with a-many-a-people...still concentrating on how everything is way out of control here....
JaredMcMillan has the most putrid wasteland of an apartment...he really needs to clean it. Yesterday i went there and he had a nice array of alcohol despite the many messes....me being a gastronome and all, sipped fine beverages all night...
Oh shit....my girlfriend got into UT. So thats really exciting for her, and me....but more her......hopefully she will find a place to live and we can be a nice little conglomerate in austin.

it takes too damn long to get pictures on here, with this fucky 56k modem...

haphazardly in a crockpot?

today i went to HEB for an interview...fuck that place. They are so strict...everything by the book. The strain from their rigorous conducting of interviews is the culprit behind my maliase this morning. What happened to going to a place and the owner deciding if you could do the job, and then giving you the job...and coming to work the next day...Fuck theses corporate fuckers, making all these layers that you must burst through like a doped-up sperm trying to get in the egg with the phattest outer layer...just to get a damn job. But anyway...
Today im supposed to go to a gorcery store with amy and ask people something to the effect of "what does it take for one person to change the world?"....i have a feeling in katy, we will get protean ignorant answers, which will baffle me and question why so many stupid people are supported for survival in the world.
If anyone has any good answers to that question....ill come to your house and record what you have to say...cause id like the think i have interesting enough friends that they can come up with something intelligent to say....this is not a subterfuge....im trying to win a video contest......
im an inchoate filmmaker....it is my dream....it is my curse....
because ill prolly never make it big....and end up poor.....catching the H-train, living on mason road....in the shelter of the old cinema 8
oh well...
got my blackalicious album back....and thats all i need....just one more hit of the good stuff....

did you know heroin.com is a porn site?

overt kill

i guess my brief hiatus is over. im now in katy...
everyone here now is down with smoking weed...and apparently a few have gone beyond that. that sux....drugs dont really turn me on like they used to....drinking socially, i still have a hard on for....but too much dope just fuels my lassitude. And i really really loath hard drugs...and even rumors of people trying them in the communal, class of 01, partying, amc group bother me......so fuck that
if you have never seen platoon, and have any curiosity about vietnam...or why you see so many damn bums claiming that they are vietnam veterans, you should view this film....atleast once....Willem DaFoe is in it....so go watch it....
Interesting things happened last night at Demetrios's backporch shindig....besides adament pot smokin, and cooking hamburgers, and zany behavior.......interesting points:
-i saw charles.....chrales hughes. I really couldn't get his naked raped body out of my mind. Especially when he layed there, languid, from smoking a god-awful lot...the image was most vivid and potent.
-I learned that apparently Artie M. is pregnant.....or rather he and some girl are pregnant. Which is fuucked up. But i heard he quit smokin dope, as did his girl....and are apparently being adults about it.....so good luck to those two....in whatever they choose to do.
-lets see....what else.....
maybe there is nothing else....

oh well....ill leave you with this....
one of the worst shows in history....

Sister Sister...

::has a horrible pang::

so long suckas!

well....im signing off from austin....
so long fiber optic internet connection....so long extreme freedom....

katy.....fuck.....

lion tag

tonight im up late...not studying...with a belly full of bad fajitas and soda.
My flatmate, geoffrey schroyer, and i just finished watching star wars...episode one....
::sigh:: i feel a bit weathered from questioning myself as to why i watched it, having long ago eschewed it from my tastes. But i watched the insipid thing....and now have instilled in me a slight desire to see the new one coming out next week or something. Its really really terribly dissappointing that Star Wars is the most anticipated entertainment attraction dropping in on the houston area. Not a fucking good concert (or anything really) for the whole interim.....i suppose im tricking myself into being excited so that i can fulfill my meek predilection of actually being excited......
but Fuck that....but anyways....me and geoffrey got to discussing modern 'bad-ass' composers. He, being a music major and all, was trying to tell me John Williams was the reigning king, and that Hans Zimmer was the oncoming heir to some sort of musical 'throne'. Well....i have a different opinion.....fuck john williams and fuck hans zimmer. They are the bitch boys for a couple of cock-heads named Steven Spielberg and Michael Bay, respectively. Of course my counter argument was that Danny Elfman was the current despot of composing in the film industry today (keeping secret the fact that he is a bitch boy to Tim Burton). I mentioned him (elfman) earlier this week, because he did spiderman. This argument entailed a battle of a sort. We started downloading all sorts of themes/compositions from our selected agents and pitted them against eachother. Danny Elfman destroys Hans Zimmer on all accounts (except planet of the apes i think).....but danny and John Williams are kind of tough to compare. John Williams, ulitimately wins....but i think he is a homosexual.....
why did i watch star wars?....dear lord......
i end up looking up "star wars is fucking gay" on google.com and this is what i found.....from gay.com

Top Ten Sexually Suggestive Lines in the Star Wars
(allegedly)
"Get in there you big furry oaf. I don't care what you smell like!"
"Luke, at that speed do you think you'll be able to pull out in time?"
"Put that thing away before you get us all killed."
"You've got something jammed in here real good."
"Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?"
"You came(cummed) in that thing? You're braver than I thought."
"Sorry about the mess..."
"Look at the size of that thing!"
"Curse my metal body, I wasn't fast enough!"

ewwee...fagotry is funny...

i dont trust the taco cabana drive thru.....nor will i ever

k-town and heb bound.

aahh....fuck
im still studying alot.....and i think im coming down with strep-throat, of all things. I have a protean of things to study for my history exam....every fucking thing from 1492 to 1865 must be zipp locked and put in the freezer of my brain...there to be thawed for my saturday of doom. After i take that test....im getting "boozed" for the last time in austin til i move into my new flat next semester. Home...katy....future job at heb....discerning what has happened to old friends and acquaintances.........it's all coming so soon.....
HEB, hm.....I think i would rather be a pizza delivery man for the summer....so ill be checking that out before i sign my life away to the harem of ugliness at heb..........not that ill be fucking employees nor making them my wives....but i suspect some other sweaty obese person, there, is.....

no picture today......Why dont you just go eat your own shit! and take a Picture of that! MotherFuckers!.....

a good song to listen to in anxiety or loneliness would be System of A Down's "Spiders".....

i gotta stop masturbating out of my anxiety.....and then coming to my 'blog' and typing about it........

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Radioactive Spiderman

ya...i saw Spidy this weekend, twice. This is the plenary film adaption of prolly the best comic ever. But thats debatable. If you haven't seen it you should check it, check it out. I loved pretty much everything about it, except for 2 mistakes i noticed, and the oddly un-prolific score of Danny Elfman. Usually the "elf-man" does a great job (ie Batman, simpsons), but recently he has been sucking too much dick....with the floppy score from Planet of the Apes and now this. Maybe its not that bad....but it doesn't stick in your brain......not hum nor whistle-worthy. All the acting is superb though.....ive been waiting to see Willem Dafoe in a big role like this, and he delivers....almost as well as Jack Nicholsons "joker" from Batman (1989).......What Batman was for me, Spiderman will be for all the 8 year olds being raised on movies, nowadays.
One peeve exuded in my second viewing that i must intimate, is the annoyance of fucking little babies that cry during movies that tend to draw people away from their actual reality such as this one. Oh ya, and fuck the adults that are selfish enough to let the baby exist, or atleast exist in the theater through the whole fucking movie. I want to kill all these children, but I have control over my id....that sucks....
But seriously, if you haven't seen it. Please...do so. It will be worth your money......maybe......esp. if you see it for free because you have friends in "high places" at amc in katy, as i do. I think ill go watch it once more during the opening weekend of Star Wars, just to spite that whole de-sexualized franchise of fandom. Ill prolly see SW eventually.....when no one is watching.


One more mention i must make (alliteration?).....Jenny's/Mike's party Saturday night......was fantastic.......props to Michael and Alan for attaining the booze. Peace to all my homies present. Good time for all.........i think all that attended conquered any prom-going envy.......if they had any.....

whats the deal with katy being the hottest/muggiest place in the country this weekend?

a truth that has gone out of fashion...

today im off to katy for a short visit. Not the permanent one, so it lacks my aprehensiveness.
Ill prolly see Spidey.....hopefully......tonight....
I had a dream this afternoon in which the words from the second part of the Blackalicious song "release" was uttered, from a prophet type character before i was attacked by bear (do i fear bears?). I actually fell asleep to the album, and the album finally became intertwined with my subconsciousness on this track....perhaps the only person who will understand this is elliot.
It was really fucking cool....i thought i was dead.....
then i had a false awakening.....but the room was reversed....and i notice and then went lucid......but i couldn't hold it for very long.
fuck that....
anyone in katy tonight that likes me....ill be around....
::lets indolence envelop soul::
later....

By Demons be Driven

last night i had a wet dream..........
in other events, im still stuck on the eventual departure from my current abode. Its enervating my soul like fuck. So im listening to Pantera and emoting alot of built up shit....
Also, Jenny's supposed "best friend," which had been planning to move in an apartment with her in austin, suddenly had a change of heart, due to jenny getting flustered over the choice of other roomates to live with. So this girl went and got a lease application with some other folks, without telling her nor including her. This girl has been jenny's friend for 7 years or something....and like "good" friends that aren't supposed to shit on your face. But, she did, and jenny has no where to live in austin next year.....so that blows....
This poses a question, what the fuck kinda friend does that? I mean.....ive had friends at different times throughout my life, and several for quite a long interim. Only one comes to mind that kinda 'ditched' me in a sense....but he never would have left me homeless and distraught i dont think.....nor would i to him. In fact i still care for the guy.....(enough anonymity...its fucking andrew johnston)....and hope he is getting along well in all his endeavors.
How does jenny find these people, that are so backstabbing(? i guess). And so very un-condign for her personality.
Her situation lets me appreciate all my friendships......
so if youre my friend.......peace be with you, and thanks....
Due to this post not being very pungent, ill have a picture here....for your perverse interests....

there...ya happy now?....fuckers.

Emotion for Sale

so...there's this new store thats opened on the drag here in austin, called "Diesel." First of all, its the epitomy of the trendy-fucks' store. It goes beyond anything ive ever seen. And ofcourse, its mucho mas expensive. A pair of jeans, prefaded, pretorn, preshited-in runs around 70 plus buck-a-roos. And off the subject, every man who works their is a clean cut homosexual and then a 1 or 2 pretty alterna-girls. The thing that sets this store apart from Gap, Tylers, PAcific Sunwear, Old Navy, Urban Outfitters, is that they take the 'thrift shop look' to a whole new dimension, and it sucks. Trying to turn the longtime trend into something 'trendy' and expensive isn't cool, but i dont think this store, nore anything else, will be able to eliminate the thrift-shop/cheap-shitty look. Now...for why im writing about this stupid store. They have this advertising campaign which is fucking amazingly absurd. They claim to "sponsor" certain emotions and ideas, such as 'happiness' 'freedom' 'dreams' 'pleasure' 'romance' etc. Initially, this pissed me off. Seeing such a blatant example of advertising pushing the idea that "consuming brings 'happiness' 'pleasure' etc." However, today i visited their website (sponsoredbydiesel.com). Here it is obvious they are making a joke of consumerism. They have this scary as fuck, very punk-clad, red-mohawked, mascot/clown, named Donald Diesel...


who is the leader of a sort, of 'Happy Valley." This happy-valley is said to be a place where "happiness leeps and sadness sleeps, and the only emotions allowed are happy ones" and of course, as all good emotions now are, its sponsored by the 'good' people of Diesel. "So bring a smile on your face, and a major credit card in your pocket" it encourages. By being so flagrant, they seem to be taking sides with consumers' annoyance with unyielding advertising in the world today, by poking fun of it. The whole thing still promotes happiness from consumerism (which i feel is somehwhat immorale, and all too american) but I think that they do it in such an absurdist way, that it makes me chuckle at their attempt. I still hate the fucking store, no doubt. Perhaps very younger kids would take it seriously.....and follow suit, by paying for a pair of pant that a clown with a red-mohawk has taken a shit in. So in conclusion, i hate that a trendy-as-fuck store has come up with a really good ad campaign.....