all is well in toyland

im going to stop apologizing for not updating because i would manipulating myself....and lying to you.
and i wouldn't want to lie to my humble fanbase.......anyways though......yesterday i finished up this semester of school. I am relieved and saddened and relieved. I think i actually enjoyed my clases this semester and hate to see them go.....I tend to become much more interested in them around finals time (when i actually have to learn about each subject).......with special emphasis on history...1865 to present............its a very interesting time period....perhaps the most eventful and progressive.....compared the the less than interesting modern times.....My profersor for said history class, whom i loathed most of the semester, put alot of emphasis on pop culture and media........which is my mantra.......so she has left her mark on me.......
i find myself watching Turner Classic Movies a lot more often, and watching it with a keen eye for that time periods happenings...........something i think ive always wanted to do and now can!.....
hmm
im going to purchase kool keith tickets today for tomorrows show at the Jazz club....
it will be great......perhaps i will "review" it as best i can before a party favor ends up in my hand and down my throat.......(booze)

this coming tuesday.....i will venture out to my grandmothers ranch/ hill country, in an attempt to have a fun and relaxing vacation with 12 other people whom i enjoy. I did this for new years last year.....with a slightly different sect of people......i will not be looking to recreate the fun had a year ago....but will search for a new kind of fun, from this new mix of people.......

christmas is coming......i will be recieving cash.....and am going to start a savings account dedicated to purchasing film equipment.......
i am becoming an adult i suppose.....and that is fine by me

congratulations to everyone i know..........because everyone i know seems to be doing something impressive lately.......go you...all


now...........for the big finale............


i am about to show you the most disgusting thing ive seen in around 2 years..........
this is not for girls to look at..........only strong men.........






sorry to dissappoint you if youve already seen this.........fag

Asian Sluts too stupid to wear clothes

wow...its been awhile since ive documented one of these damn life anecdotes. I suppose ive been to completely and painstakingly broke off my ass. Thats right...my apparent boundless amount of summer-job money found its end a couple weeks ago after I somehow lost track of checks written, purchased that foo fighters album, and overdrew my account. In case your were apprehensive about my wellness, ive been able to consume just as much food and alcohol as i was, prior to filing 'private' bankruptcy....thanks to my friends and girlfriend who i have been bamboozling out of their food, beer, and money. If your reading this...thanks!...suckers....
And in case your wondering ill be needing to victimize you of your stuff for one more week...then ill get a paycheck...and ill buy something for each of you...possibly........but hey, ive still got jew blood in me, so i never really know if i mean it
hmm...whats else has been going on....
I made a spark film in spanish class....i wrote a storyboard for a commercial in advertising.....&
I began working on a mini-movie with amy....kinda.....i should call her.....
i only call it a mini-movie because its definitely not a short film....the movie we are writing has too much character emphasis and is in essense a feature film. But fuck, writing a whole movie would just take too much time. And we simply want to get our feet wet. That is all

Kool Keith is coming to town soon on december 15th at the mercury.....you are all invited to stay at my place that evening....if you read this.....because i will be partying and fucking....whilst developing my craft of flowing....in one long night of damnation.....

oh ya...adam's band penetrate broke up.......its disheartening.....but i think its for the best...

my new nickname is Fuckmaster....



thanks

erection day

i know i masturbated in glee...

and now the republicans rule the ("free") world!...apparently national security was the issue captivating the newly conservative voters...with sept 11 still on the brain...
i didn't vote...
mostly because im not registered in austin....but i like to think its because i refused to pick the puppet on the left or the puppet on the right
do i sound like im from austin yet?
as amy stated...i cant live in this town too long before becoming something other than conservative republican.......not a direct quote



and how about nevada trying to pass recreational pot laws, eh?....amazing. Its weird because they weren;t as far away from victory as i would have expected....only losing out by a 10 percent margin......that bill is sure to return in future elections as long as i live
and ill vote for it to pass...
if you want to live fucked up...and let it take control of your life and mind.....i feel you should reserve that right.....plus there are just a lot of people (i know) where it may have affected their minds (mostly just motor skills..jk) but it cant affect their hearts or ideas....
so....thats my stance. However with this new turn towards conservatism in war-like times....i feel the issue may be displaced.
I kind of fear such a powerful party in america....makes me have more hope for a powerful independent party in the next years elections....
for the record i think i may be a libertarian republican......i think
perhaps...
ALSO
the new foofighters is great....most similar to their first album in song stucture definitely, with a bit of the pop sound from the previous album.
favorites: have it all, tired of you, times like these, lonely as you, comeback.....that comeback song has a huge! progressive influence
YEAH ROCK MUSIC!

press record, pull the trigger

Hip Hop heros, run dmc lost a member today. Jam Master Jay was fucking shot in the head....
"NEW YORK (CNN) -- Jam Master Jay, the DJ of the longtime rap group Run-DMC, was shot in the head and killed Wednesday night in a Queens recording studio, according to New York police.
Another man, Urieco Rinco, 25, was shot in the leg and taken to a local hospital, police said.
Police are investigating the shooting, which took place inside a studio on Merrick Boulevard about 7:30 p.m.
No arrests have been made in the case.
Jam Master Jay was born January 21,1965, as Jason Mizell in the middle-class Hollis neighborhood of Queens, New York, according to the group's Web site. He linked up with Run (Joseph Simmons) and D.M.C. (Darryl McDaniels) -- also from Hollis -- scratching turntables for the two rappers who had just graduated from high school.
A year later, in 1983, the group released its first single, "It's Like That" with a B-side, "Sucker MC's," which spawned a phrase used in rap songs decades later.
Known for their loose Adidas-brand shoes and thumping beats, the trio is credited with beginning the current trend of combining rap music and rock 'n' roll in their hit remake of Aerosmith's "Walk this Way" in 1986, teaming up with the band's lead singer Steven Tyler and guitarist Joe Perry.
The shooting death was met with shock by the group's fans who likened Run-DMC to the "Beatles of rap music."
"May Jay remains an inspiration for us all -- a man with vision, creativity, generosity, and talent, one who condemned and spoke against violence, and was taken away from us, and his family, far too soon," one fan posted on the group's Web site.
News of Mizell's death evoked memories of the shooting deaths of rappers Tupac Shakur and Notorious B.I.G. in the late 1990s.
Unlike other rap artists whose lyrics glorified gangsters and "thug life," Run-DMC tried to distance itself from that image.
"They say we're putting out bad messages to the kids," Run told Rolling Stone magazine in a 1986 interview, in response to violent outbursts at several of the group's concerts. "Our image is clean, man. Kids beat each other's heads every day. They are fighting because they were fighting before I was born ... we're role models."
Several of Run-DMC's songs boast about Jam Master Jay's DJ skills, including "Jam Master Jammin' " on the group's 1985 album, "King of Rock":
"He has a little soul, to rock n' roll
Every record that he touches turns to gold
He's well conducted, self-instructed
His styles were plied, heavily constructed
Mechanically inclined, and if you don't mind
We add spice to your life, time after time
And think about times, where he's a long laster
We rock our rhymes for the Jam-Master." :"

run dmc was truly tougher than leather...
it sucks one of thems dead!

on a happier note today is halloween.......well it makes me happy......moderately...

smells a fake in the air

actually its more like a change....i can feel a change in myself coming. It may be a long time or a short time, but i can feel something different. Something with a new perogative and initiative. I feel ive earned and learned the basics and now its time to use both sides of the brain. Its time to develop the skills for my chosen trade....
my mind is here...my mood is errupting.....the plot will fashion itself in a way similar to scrapers in the sky....archetecture will no longer be a correct metaphor for this shit.....its going to require technical terms for blackholes and supernovas...
ive purchased a notebook....ive purchased a brain.
its time to bathe in pages and colour them dark black humor and spice them with deep red emotion....

enough of my not so prolific imagery.

but anyways....
my parents came this weekend and displayed to them my horrible weekend drinking habits
and now im frantically studying for a large advertising test, which i will not do good on for lack of preperation which is all my fault. Im finding that the material has actually been interesting and i have been missing out on all sorts of tidbits that pertain to me, myself, and others

why am i listening to so much hiphop.....and becoming some sort of failing-advocate to my white-white-brown austin friends?

get this.......i want a macintosh for christmas....

blogger isn;t publishing

so im going to post again...it feels like its been an hour....but its more like 15 minutes.
im not going to lie, im developing some minor insomnia tendencies. It runs (or perhaps walks slowly) thorugh my blood, my mother was a hard core insomniac. I think it was my father being a "cheata" she suddenly became unable to sleep....then again after her father dying in a sudden car accident, after his somewhat carefree life as a pothead-drunk....there are several unmentionable phases he went through between those two stages of his life but the subject is me here. This week has started off on a stale foot. i have only managed to get 5 hours of sleep in 50+ hours. Granted its not as bad as 2 or 3....but still....its affecting not only my brain, but my viage. The wear and tear of actual life is apparent on my face. I watched two nearly back to back episodes of friends yesterday, and was noticing how much younger looking the cast was in the begining compared to now. Although they are into there 30s...as i stared at my idiot box(tv) i could feel the bags under my eyes gaining weight and my dried lips cracking in a bloody pain...and couldn;t help but compare my 'old' pains to theirs'.
But!...sexually......im in my prime......and the male gendered castmates are not!
surround me in that aural pleasure.

first in flight

well i went to yet another hip hop show....del tha funky homosapien, lifesavas, schoolyard...and someother suck group...
hands down the best hiphop show i will probably ever see....only the third ive ever seen, but i dont feel like ill see more than 3 more in my lifetime.
it was cool....and now im getting into some heiroglyphics stuff....
del was alot different looking than i had imagined.....
the first group was good musically(lifesavas), second had stage presents and comedy(schoolyard), the third was fucking boring as shit(people under the stairs=shit), and del was fucking cool.....
but anyway...in order to get to this show i had to go to Katy
i cant tell if it has changed more so since i left....or if it is still remaining a microcosm in the past...i dont know, things seem completely different yet terribly the same...perhaps due to scenary and smell and the mood produced (in me) when im there...
i didn;t do much but hang out with family and friends, and i suppose that is what i should have done. I wanted to see some movies but i dumped that idea like a fat asian girl. no offense........even though that was extremely offensive. Good to see alot of friends hadn't seen in quite awhile. I adore the genuine good times my good friends provide me...as well as the comfortable and humorous thoughts and conversations...
But there really are so many movies to see right now...red dragon, the ring, rules of attraction, transporter, one hour photo, punch drunk love, knock around guys, lost in la mancha, bubba ho-tep, bowling for columbine....
my god i would murder 1/6 of a man in order to earn the money to watch those movies all in one day...
it seems ill be working alot in november...so hopefully i can treat myself to some of this film...amongst some other things (food)
i guess i should update more often, but im far too busy.....and my fan base only shrinks.
I AM BORING
::retreats to furious masturbation with a pencil pad and blood::
and i wont stop.....there will not be a scintilla of sperm in balls after this one folks....




fuck

this is a sad fucking song

youll be lucky if i dont bust out crying...
so...i hate the baseball playoffs......wait, no.....i hate being able to hear the baseball playoffs every hour of the day while in my abode from a television blaring commentators and crowd noise. It annoys me, only because of how it endures for hours. Anyways today i woke up at fucking 6:45....that was shitty.....for work at the UT football game as an usher......my job was pointless as per usual....and with just 4 hours of sleep plus 8 hours of work im feeling pretty well.
"tie ballgame!"
Minimalist bands? what is this genre or is really a genre or just a way of writing instrumentals? is it a theme in the music? is it heavy or light? can it be whatever as long as its 'less' work?
idunno...apparently "shellac" a band ive been following moderately for awhile is considered 'minimalist,' not just "raw and blunt" as i had previously been terming their style....
but whatever.....FUCK YOU (as steve albini would say, the lead singer)
everyone should go try to download a song by them entitled "doris"..i like it
"mauracio with three balls here in the 8th"
good movies coming out theses days
igby goes down.....looks very very good. young kid fucks older hot chicks is always appealing to everyone....even you, you cromagnon
red dragon...prolly the shittiest enstallment of this hannibal lector series...but more than likely a good movie still....just mas bland
the rules of attraction...it has a shitload of young-stars trying to act their way out of the "teen star" title...and this movie has some cool people attached to it...so it will be decent
Bubba ho-tep......new bruce campbell's story of "what really happened to elvis" if you ever get a chance to see this just do it, and call me b/c its not being played around here...

"double play...no, he is stealing home!"

i got crabs in austin tx

weird weekend that past awhile ago...
had a keg party
it was cool for about 30 minutes...but ofcourse i was passed out in a lawn chair outside while people had fun with my keg....Then ofcourse this guy daniel got into a fight with my trashed roomate for absoultely no reason other than he is psychotic....
fights kinda kill parties and everyone left
i dont wanna go into much more detail...its all ive talked about for the whole week...and its tired
i rejoined the Univ. film alliance....im excited about it.....i think i will get to know people this year andbe involved rather than just paying to be able to say im part of an org.
The responsibility of a job is stressing me....but i will conquer....or retreat to drunken stupor....or something else
Heard some new 311 songs....very shitty live quality....wasn't really feeling them...but im sure i will some day....
Jenny is mad at me because she had a dream i had a "crush on someone else".....and other stuff including not talking to her and only talking about girls.....its lame, but she is reading.....and she already knows what i think
Finished "the jungle" in all its socialist-propaganda shit glory
good book....just goes way too flat at the end. Somehow a happy ending is finding your place in the Socialist party? I wanted more pain....i wanted Jurgis (the main dude) to die some very momentus and plot-fulfilling death...i wanted a surprise.......i just was fed bullshit......to hell with upton sinclair....
as for the title of this post.....mm...im all gonzo and noir

segmentation based on benefits

the jungle reading is going grrrreat. I think this is one of the most interesting reads ive ever been previed to. The pains, the poverty, the meat packing, the limb losing, the starving, the odours, the gaol, the shit, the piss, the fertilizers......i love it all. When i pick up the book each time, i can smell the smell of shit and carcass, and i can feel the harsh weather of winters beyond me. I wish i lived in the industrial revolution really badly.....however i want to be the wealthy fucker who takes advantage of immigrant labor...and pays low wages....and drinks and fucks. Its the only way to go in life, right.....
not really...idunno....fuck it
I got my new CKY album in the mail today and i am satisfied completely....along with the 11 dollar album they sent me a nice little patch and 3 dozen stickers. The album is pretty good. Nice collection of what im coining as "clay rock" because its hard but its malleable....when i hear this music i think just think clay really........maybe its not malleable......but i dont want to call it metal because it is not. And its not aggro rock really. Im sure it is considered alternative, but that doesn't seem appropriate to me because they really aren't doing anything different from standard "rock and metal music" but they do it with a different style but i dont want to use the word metal either.....so clay.......clay rock
im rambling......
But the cd is very good solid slightly repetitive yet innovative and above standard intelligence....good metaphors and fresh ideas for songs
highlights: 'escape from hellview' (its like vampire-rock) 'human creation station' (the name itself sounds good...and it is) Sporadic Movement (angry-science-rock?) and 'Attached at the hip' (like it...cant figure out if its about anti-love or sympathetic-friendships)
Flops: 'close yet far' (i love the lyrics, but its the 1st time cky has ventured into acoustic territory and as an album closer it leaves me blue balled, far from the huge ejaculation i was going to have at the end)

My internet (which is wireless and sux ass) Should now be working more often...so more frequent updates
OH ya! im having my 1st "keg-party" this weekend....so if you live in austin and read this...cum

my name is not tamoszius kuszleika

a decieving week it has been...it seems to me ive been in school for 6 rather than 5 days ( or will have been by tomorrow)
probably because it seems ive had some sort of social outing to attend every night this week, save tuesday, because i played video games. Particularly, Madden 2003 a long running football video game. I actually own the '94 version of it on Sega genesis...but at any rate i became kind of obsessive over it for a couple of days. Perhaps it was the recurrence of the past obsessioned created in '94 95 or maybe the large boner i have for competition on any level, normally..(im sure there are some instances in which i dont really care)...On tuesday, me and my roomates discovered a option in this game which yields to the player the ability to "create your own players" which became very comical as soon as my fellow Katy (class of 01) roomate said "lets make Jared Kaspar" what ensued was hours of making old "katy champions" it was quite humorous fucking with (while creating) peoples visages and abilities that i didn;t really care for back in those days...not so long ago. Others inculded on this prestigious list are Jamel Branch, Keith Mouton, Tim Foster, and Dennis Ray.......all a bunch of fuckers....the majority of which are black and consequently...........uh, smart..............(pardon my stereotyping)
anyways...tomorrow more katy-ites are coming down to cum on my face....this list includes a great bunch (maybe not considered so bright, but still dear to my heart) Daren, joanna, adam, elesio, chris s, amy a, luis dela, carlos tescanos, mike c, demetrios.........how GRRREEEEEEEEEAT

i haven't had enough meat lately.......so today i ate soup (with no meat), a hamburger and a steak........mmm protein

"His notrils are dilated and his breath comes fast - his demons are driving him"

The Jungle by upton sinclair even in the 1st 30 pages is a good read and i think its goint to give me some insite to post-introduction of the industrial age and mass immigration of early 20th century or earlier.........

infiltrate destroy and rebuild

saw cky
very fun, exciting show. Everyone should definitely check them out if given the chance. The shows interim was only an hour, as expected from a band with, presently, a smaller following. I got home at about 11:15 which is very agreeable considering im going to have to get up at 8. All the major songs were played with fierce energy, a couple from their new album and one id never heard before which is a cover of santa claus is coming to town, but with a sinister twist in which the song describes santa's new shitty life...like his wife is a slut, all children are pieces of shit, and all the presents are going up his ass...and (in cky tradition) santa doesn't give a shit.......i liked it. I love how cky has the exact same attitude i do toward music/other things....very "punk" but realizing that "punk" is shitty, and the world doesn;t need another punk band....they need cky. Cky knows how to fuckin rock....and i cant wait to see their follwing triple in the next year (im expecting) and then to see them with a crowd that can actually compliment the effort they put forth to their fans on stage. In between sets they probably gave away 200 dollars worth of merchandies....that along with everything else shows me that they give it their all, and even if this is their prime and its all downhill from here...they honestly dont give a shit and its cool....
2 quotes i liked from the show: "i was trying to win a staring contest, but her bigger eyes on her chest...aka her breasts, defeated me"
"Texas is so far away from the industry...fuck the industry"
the second made me realize my liking of texas all over again.....i really do like this state......the first inspired no deep feelings but for some reason i thought it was really funny....perhaps it was the guitarists (chad ginsburg) hand gestures
apparently they like to talk more than most bands on stage, and have alot of fun...so they seemingly are having a geniune good time on stage...i admired it....
overall....im gonna give it a 7/10
losing points only because i wanted to hear a longer set....and the crowd wasn;t all the way into it....

i spell sporadic "spuradic" because i like spurs

to all the Justin Guarinis out there

was that a bad weekend? i think i have forgotten...what color should my text be elliot?............
yet another weekend goes by and i am jobless. My funds are becoming more shallow as the money in my pocket is burning holes. Shit...oh well....i preordered the new cky album entitled "infiltrate destroy rebuild" and im going to there show tomorrow night. Which is very exciting for me...but i feel i should be going with comeaux....but oh well.....
Next weekend many folks from Katy will be congregating at my place, the iternerary includes the clerks drinking game and possibly a keg?...idunno about that.....cause im not paying. Ive spent a little over a hundred dollars on booze since ive been here, and it has not been quite a month. Chad trainer...man....what a weird guy. Apparently him and his girl dropped out of school to become squatters for a little while, begining tonight in austin...what a fuck head.....no offense if he eventually reads this (at a homeless library or something) but what the fuck? I suppose it just doesn't make any since to my normal un-inspired life. Who wants to be homeless until they run out of money, and hang out in abandoned places to sleep and not shower and get fucked for money and ask people for change?.....hopefully it wont come to these things....but you just never know making a drastic decision like that. Perhaps i will not be seeing that fellow for awhile...
To hell with that......im going to see Camp Kill Yourself tomorrow night @ Stubb's Bar-B-Q, the best live show atmosphere in austin (i here)
Also in todays events...i worked on my first advertising paper...in which i am to contrast two energy drinks and then develope a new one. It surprisingly takes alot more effort than you would think. The most defficult part about it was fitting the whole thing on one page (as it was assigned to be), while still hitting all the major points of comparison and development required by the prof. But anyways the name of my energy drink is "Juiced"......i think its a good name....simple yet distinct and memorable. My target audience is men aged 34-44....so i designed the bottle with the colors black and blue.....to be masculine........and the bottle is long and hard....like a black dick to be gay......for all those men aged 34-44 who like a little Michael Jordan/Michael Irvin-ish dicks.......
i also placed a a belt loop for easy carriage whilst exercising.....

cky tomorrow......if i think about it ill write some thoughts on it here....so stay tuned all you lovely listeners

far from puerto pobre

I, Joey, Am officially an RTF major...and that quite simply, is the shit. How exciting it is....i feel like im finally really gonna do something with my life...no longer being undeclared.
hmm hm..anywayzez....my sophmore year is going to end up being one of the more fucked up years of my life. Just from the first couple of passed weekends i can tell that large quantities of alcohol and tabacco and gatherings exceeding the number of my age will be defining this year.....friday and saturdays im going to be killing many brain cells and liver well-being as good as i can.....just because its the thing to do.....perhaps i will burn out on it......
hopefully it wont become a weekday thing....if it does....."somebody stop me" -jim carey (the mask)
I might be getting a job being a sales representative doing house appoitments in order to sell high quality cutting utensils to baby boomers with cash.....i have to call and set up appointments and travel to their houses and put on a show...but its 11 dollars a show! and you can do a show in 30 minutes or less! If i do three or four apointments a day thats like 40 bucks (avg.) every day....which will total to like a shit load of money....and i will sharpen (with a cutco stainless steel steak knife) my communication skills with older folks and thus giving myself an edge in the communications world and the UT school (college of communications).
President Bill Clinton will be coming to speak on UT campus along with Spike Lee and some other democratic liberals. I will try and go and like....boo or something very disrespectful.....if i write that "K" word that ends with "ill", jokingly, this site will become marked by the government and some CIA me will come and interogate me, repromand me, then fuck me....and find out im just some radical jerk off who was kidding around....
speaking of the government...whats up with all this war talk? who gives a shit about iraq....just let them bomb us....we deserve it (according to every other country in the world except england).....

Latin Americans hate Americans because we think we are the only americans......i cant help that this was the first country founded in the American continents and we adopted the name....and i cant help that they're poor and we control their lives....
but they control our drugs...so hey!

just do me

in a minute i can type 30 words....i consider that pretty fucking good. Its like a word every two tics on average. I applied for a few jobs today, and that was a question on two of them...that are in offices and pay alot. The others will include restaurants that dont pay as good but the stress level is much less and therefore better for a student like me. Speaking of being a student...my classes are going well. It seems to me classes always seem much harder in the first two weeks than they actually are. My classes will all be standard collegey classes except for spanish....which is an intensive 5 days a week 20 person class in which a teacher will attempt to learn me a language. I like my teacher...he is very asian. In fact his fucking name is Chang Chin! He is so asian he knows how to write his name in 3 different asian languages/scripts.
Overall spanish is hurtful to my goal of writing film. I feel it takes away time that i should becoming more knowlegeable of non-alien culture and expanding my offenses in my never ending battle of maintaining a somewhat larger vocabulary. Learning new words for the same shit is not my idea of a cool class...or a good time.
What is a good time is the time i had canoe-ing the other day when i traveled to Barton springs and rented a canoe. Scaling the waters (can you say that?) of a narrow river-esque lake was the most fun ive had in thrity minutes in disjunction (yet not by myself...if you catch my meaning...but im not implying anything) in quite awhile.
So in my book canoe-ing is tiiight.

just do me before i have to go nighty night......get my teddy....bear

does anyone know how to change to text of your post?
mine is stuck on black...and i cant seem to find a comand to change it....

fuckthat

im pretty drunk right now...
whats the deal with us going to war with iraq?Please just let them 'nuc' us...so we can have the first (or second if you consider pearl harbor an entire "war") war in the US of America...and me and some strange men can become very primal and form our own guerilla warfare on iraqians and afghanis,etc. And i as well as america can fail at defeating an army thats sole purpose is to destroy christianity. Then maybe the leftovers (people of america) can sit around, incarcerated, in makeshift prisons...shitting on eachother....trying to figure out what went wrong with this Client nation to god....

so my credo is......please.....dont be a schisty fuckrag christian

also id like to talk about my new found fandom of Ryan Reynolds!
he is the fucking shit!
perfect comedic timing...so perfect.....better than anyone ive ever seen!
he is the guy from two guys a girl and a pizza place and also the new to dvd movie..."van wilder"
is a genius actor...and should go places......but he prolly wont...........which is sad.........
i want to see him....jason lee........and michael richards in a movie......that would be awesome.....

Another fucking hilarious comedy everyone must see......including elliot (because i think he will like it...if he can pay attention) is WET HOT American SUMMER....its very funny and stars jeneane girafalo and several others who i cant identify by name........but its the best summer camp movie ive ever been witness to......so see that.........it never went to theaters.......how sad.....

oh ya.....and jason lee and tom green have a new movie titled "stealing harvard"......some people should check that out.....jason lee is cool.....and if you haven't seen freddy got fingered you fucked up........

my true passions come out when im boozed......sorry

gotta go finish my last beer before bed......
later all...

a forgotten performance

so i dont think anyone remembers i have a site to read after such a long lapse of posts... So those 5 or so people need to be notified...somehow....later

Today an older man with a red tie and a grey beard handed me a gift...a small cup of lemonade...and attached to it was a bible verse which said something along the lines of "jesus fills your thirst." Call me a blasphemer, but i had just come out advertising and it seemed like a great idea to use jesus as a spokesperson....but then the question of product puzzled me. Jesus wouldn't be good for just promoting 'thirst quenchers', he could be used for a variety of products like shoes or sandles, bread, whine, books, school supplies, carpentry or construction products, personal hygene things....anything and everything that is "good." It could be just like a whole line of products like Amway or something. I dont think jesus likes it when people use him like that though...but i prolly will try it because i have to do many projects in my adv class....and i like to push the envelope in a very introvert-like manor. On 2nd thought, Maybe im just living in a simpsons-type-of world...so maybe i wont use that idea, its kinda crazy....and will probably earn me a bad grade. though it seems like a pretty auspicious idea, it may not turn out to be...depending upon the (red)pen holders religious values...
But anyways...i dont get why these christian people advertise their christianity....to me it seems to be degrading to God....the only thing i think it really does it provide more income to the owner/pastor of a church...
So im gonna agree with the jews on this one...and not exploit christ in my advertising class....
and to hell with putting that stupid fish on your car!

tomorrow is friday....then, ill prolly drink....

"Hooray Beer" -that jamaican guy with the redstripe ad campaign

mic check

oh my god

i must have forgotten i had control of this media, because i have not posted in over a month...
Why?, you ask....well.....i have no good answers...
ill just say i went and had a good time with the remaindor of my summer....
sorry to the people i didn't get to hang out with much in katy.....maybe next time....or not....i hope to establish myself here and hopefully get some sort of internship....or work at the UT tv station of the summer.....something along those lines....plus a real job to pay for my newly attained Bills....which suck....
to hell with responsibility.......but i suppose its worth it.....as long as i never have children. As long as thats true, ill be fine....
Hmm...so im here in apartment #816 @ The Landings in Austin Texas in my own place living near old and new friends in my own little microcosim and its pretty "tiight"
I haven't talked to amy since shes moved here....i will this weekend....

Hopefully i can get a job at pluckers handing out fliers for money and used it along with my money from ushering football games, circuses and bruce springsteen concerts at the erwin center.....i should be able to feed myself and pay for my utilities....

school has started....i must evince witt and comprehend recondite texts.......must go

bie fuckers....

hopefully ill be doing this more often again instead of fucking myself and leaving "water"(sperm) damage all over the walls and desks...as i did when i lived with my parents

if anyone wants to listen to my neighbors so-so alternative band (not my bag) go to : listen.to/empirestate

no pressure....hes a cool guy......just a bland song......

hello again its true.

so i haven't posted in a long while...
im not working currently....which sux in a financial facet.....but its great for my needs as a lazy human being...
first of all, i have some BEEF with the USPS (united states postal service, yes..they are an acronym too)
About 3 weeks ago i purchased an item off ebay...that next tuesday they sent the package...two tuesdays and one day later....it is still not here. Granted it wasn't priority mail....but nothing international should take that long, esp. cause its still in the same judicial district. Fuck that and fuck postal workers.....So everyday im not working, the mail is the most important part of the day...so everyday has been a let down this week. My allergies are god awful....they have never been this consistently unbearable...so im taking like 5 claritins a day...my blodd pressure should be sky rocketing.
Not having a job means no cash flow for this nigga.....so im trying to not be such a wastrel...i think its working....
Last week...me and my me and my me and my friends filmed a short film. The plot consists of a man watering his lawn in excess...a conservationist showing up and then sicing his goon on him....the goon in turn beats the piss out of the man and turns off the water...
exciting stuff!! Tonight we start editing....with mike and daren.....hopefully ill be somewhat intransigent....im, all too often, not
-Today i read to the children who attend the day care that mike works for.....im doing it in order to write something in the "community service" space on applications...on my way home i noticed the amount of people in katy is growing still....and the thought of being a part of houston makes me ill.....i think houston is third in worst giant cities to live in....chicago and detroit are the victors....

Musically....im falling into oldies....yes OLDIES!
-beachboys -beatles -bobdylan -animals -byrds are clouding my mp3 player these days.....
i think it was the chili peppers being compared to all these older bands....
also i was listening to some kraftwerk....some old german electronica rock band.....i guess....

What is IDM (inteligent dance music) exactly? what do they mean by intelligent (pardon my stupidity....)?

beer and deep bays of shit

so ive been a little depressed i think....i wish i didn't know why, but i do....which is kinda worse in 'my situation' (how kerry-esque...jk kerry) because id rather just continue to be apathetic. So I will, because that is what i want, and will continue to do so until i start sobbing unontrolably....which is gay and not worth the mental taxing....although it may be beneficial in getting rid of all the excess water in my overly hydrated body....
dont stop reading yet....i know youre tempted
Gosh darn it was a lazy weekend....my parents ventured out for a spur of the moment visit to the hill country b/c of the recent flooding...the land out there suddenly looks (if not...feels) greener and the water doesn't trickle as normal, it pours....which is refreshing...
I think i should have gone with them instead of staying in katy w/ no family home...some of the events of my weekend were very disheartening i guess...even the happy drinking alcohol moments seemed tainted. This compounded my slight 'off-ness' into a full scale, shitty feeling that seems to be souring my mood like the sour gum balls that used to be so popular during my youth baseball career...

The movie Road to Perdition is excellent and is a great revival for gangster films...very very good....go watch. Even you youths......but if your feeling a bit more youthful than normal...i would recommend lilo and stitch....very very good as well....

Now i gotta go....my parents are home....and my mom is one of those hardcore clean freaks (to the highest bracket of extreme)
its really fucking annoying....and i offered her 100 dollars every two weeks to not help with her weekly, sunday afternoon, nit-picky cleanings ....but she turned me down...

i must extirpate this emotional bullshit......or ignore it.....both will suffice.....:backwards sigh:

Conclusions:
-People are not people in this city, unless they have cars.....you must be mobile to be able to live....and that sux....
-Some people need to find out what being responsible means, and start being it.....you cant be a child forever....so stop pretending so much....

do homosexuals fist their asses when they masturbate?

I dont....

red hot way

i purchased the new chili peppers album and post-that, i listened to it all night and this morn. It is incredible. Different...definitely. Over the years, the peppers have subtly been getting rid of their funkrockrappunk hybrid, which they helped pioneer in the 80s and earlier 90s....and in a natural progression they have pretty much kicked the habit....and in its place have added alot of innovative guitar work and a giant pile of melody. On first listen i was like "they are trying to be the doors now! ha, fools!" but then after hearing the overall "love" "happiness" "lovelost" themes in the songs i realized they are more like the Beach Boys....but in their trippy acid-doing days.......or maybe beatles (as rolling stone mentions)
The only song that even resembles their punk/funk/rap is the first single and title track "by the way"......after that, if you can actually avoid all of anthony kiedis's overflowing melodies and the sunny-smooth instrumentals,...you can hear a funky flea bass lick....but very rarely
This album is a love reply to californication....where incubus went wrong when trying to make a beautiful album, the peppers will succeed, because of the natural progression and not the drastic and caustic change of style.....plus the chili peppers are better at it.
This album is a summer day, for the most part.....sitting around in the sunshine eating berries with your shades on, and a couple of your best friends talking about love lost and found...triumphs and lows.....but it does not include how you fucked your love and then she gave you a post-sex blowjob, and how she was on the rag (blood) and you got off on it....
none of that schtuff here, like chili pepper albums past....this is all beauty...
Bare with me i cant remember tracks, but moments of this album remind me of radiohead alot....and also one paticular track that reminds me of the dismemberment plans' "you are invited" or "invitation" or whatever its called
'By the way' for some, (and part of myself) leaves a gap that would normally be filled by a normal peppers album.....and that is the the strong basic songs....the ones that aren't funk rap and they aren't beautiful/pop/rock...they are ones that are almost aggro (but because its the chili peppers, you dont recognize it)....songs like 'parrallel universe' from californication or 'shallow be thy name' from one hot minute...
where are the upbeat and slightly angered rock joints?
well theyve replaced them with innovation....a couple of songs you can still feel the same emotions but they are too dissimilar to categorize together. On some of these tracks Kiedis out does himself with imagery.....i was amazed at their vividness...and the instrumentals compliment with precesion
for -rock-heads....this wont be the best album, in fact they may hate it....
-punks....this album will blow...but thats because they are idiots and think punk still something the ramones were doing twenty years ago
-the intelligent listener....its an album to have...and let grow on you...and eventually let yourself love.......unless you hate it. And if you do, fuck off....
-commercially it will do great....maybe not as great as its predecessor....but still very good.....
...well "by the way" is exactly what i expected them to try but i didn;t expect them to do it this well...nor consistently
hm....i guess its just art...but it still sells.

what kind of people/culture have the last name "sunday"? that just baffles me....

i may get laid off work soon (end of week)....so if you need some lawn work or house cleaning done....im cheap labor....

epiphany or afflatus, what will i choose?

i came to blogger and couldn;t resist making a post...
::sigh:: (i actually just sighed) Im rather tired, you see....i just back from watching one of the more fucked up movies in the world ("Natural Born Killers")....its a terrible tale of two serial killers' lives as 'naturalists' as they, in some fashion, claim to be.....idunno....the whole point of the fucking thing is to pick at the media and claim that we as humans are still animals and murder is in all speices nature...therefore, murder is 'okay' and the only reason its bad is because of media....
At first, but only at first, i was thinking "this is dumb what about the bible, its chalk full of morales scolding murderous foes" but then i swiftly realized....duh shithead....the bible is media.......and was again amazed at this films tact and overall contempt for media
elliot is wrong...film, in its best most untrickiest form, is not a waste of time....i advise everyone to rent more often
{::watches a tiny bug suck/bite/clean its ass on my desk for a few moments::}
Today i ran to galveston/lake jackson (a beach somewhere,whatever)....and back.....in a car......or really a caravan including joannas car (cokehead), mikes car (luminator) and my own (mrs glass)....
due to josh gordons shitty directions, and the overlapping apathy for time, that stoners hold in their hearts.....it took us about 3 hours to get there. This didn't anger me though....
Beaches are usually very disagreeable with me....but this time i had a pretty good time, despite the salty/sweaty/sticky/poverty feeling i get by being there...whats the deal with me having good days? does this mean im gay??
The only thing that may have tainted it, besides the swarming of violent preWNV misquitos feasting upon my newly sanded skin, was all the substance abuse....and then a certain ribald getting rather pissed when we all told him he was too fucked up to drive....(i guess he was embarassed...or just drunk/high)
Fuck drunk people thinking they are in control no matter what you tell them....it makes it so much harder to be that gooood friend, that doesn;t let your friends drink and drive.....
all drunkies should thank me....in worldy unison....
needless to say....no one died....

there are way too many "...." (elipsis's) in this damn late night post..................

again....let me go now....go to innisfree....

blogger ddn;t work for awhile....
so this post is late......quite late............................

celebrated my homebrew

so...4th of july happened
"4th of july. the lucy in sky. I remember pine trees and the coat of many colors. I was 19. Id do anything. Shit like that now scares me but id like to do it again. It was independence day. Ive seen the otherside and i say. i will never be the same."
that was from Homebrew a 311 song about tripping your balls off on the 4th of July and being 19...as i am. I may not have had that type of reckless evening yesterday, but it was decent none the less...wo/ crime. Even "the punks" refrained from any illegal machinations.
America....land of the free. aah......saying that is like the sound of opening a ice cold soft drink or alcoholic beverage (whatever be your fancy)....refreshing....worry free...relaxed....(somtimes....b/c im sure sometimes i could respond mentally with a "fuck that" easily)
i enjoy living in america...many people believe they dont. Prolly because of all the hypocracy, surveillance, mal-laws, brutality, bombardments of advertising, dependence, selfrighteousness, exceptionalism, money based morales, consolidating corporate businesses....etc. In spite of the US's many flaws, i still like it here... As far as i am concerned the system works. The framers of the constitution were fucking smart. They created a system that churns out moderation. Its nearly impossible for this country to go radical in the ways of government...."two sides of the same coin" is in some senses correct....But i encourage people to vote....atleast with local voting...b/c if some dont, then some ingredient to the mixture of government stew is missing...and it wont be exactly what its supposed to be.

I enjoy expounding politics about as much as i do religion....so ill move on....or back....

Yesterday was festive and a delight. For some cosmically strange reason i had a very good day. I went swimming in the afternoon...ate with my neighbors and family...met jenny and had a lovely hour or so... and then eventually met a group of people at Jenny's house....and during that congregation we watched firework displays....and i was filled with happiness as i chatted with my friends and also jenny's parents.......enough 'ands'

America by Simon and Garfunkel - I was putting songs on my mp3 player and(shit) had temporarily placed riders on the storm by the doors in the number 1 position...due to me and my father discussing what he knew of Jim Morrison (which wasn't much cause i think he was maybe 6 yrs old when the doors or jim, died) but then i was like....Jim morrison was a foolish harddrug fuck....so fuck him....so i placed ol' simon and garfunkel in the position instead....This song is so pretty...and it really embellishes my fancy free-ideas about what America is about (even though its just a hippie song), without actually being a very proamerican or anthemetic song. Very happy song, for my fairly happy day....Garfunkel is also the shit....fuck simon........i guess

anyone who reads this....you wanna go to astroworld on saturday?

real squirrels...and there were thousands....and this is not some kind of metaphor....god dammit this is real!

yakiteeschmackitee and all that otha bullshit

actually i am alive...in case you didnt realize...but things have changed, oh so much.
Not really...i got a new car i guess....
its nice looking.....its name is MRS. GLASS....and it is the shiiiiought
i had a long weekend with jenny and co. (family) We escaped the greater houston area and fled to the country-living banks of the Rio Frio near my grandmothers ranch house in Leakey,Tx. My skin is newly crisped and i enjoy not looking so pale, no matter if i itch and bitch about the reprecussions of the all-fearing UV ray. Im not too sure if i had an exceptional time, but a good and decent time all the same. However, i then went back to my past and future home of Austin and had a relatively more interesting time. The reasons why i was there only include going with jenny to her orientation but, it was alllright. I felt i was beneficial for her orienting, although she may have taken advantage of me and my keen knowlege. We also purchased a pornographic film on the hotels 'oncommand' movie/tv feature....it was not good, and consequently humorous.
Daren got an eyebrow piercing....he will prolly get arrested soon now. I think you can dress relatively shitty all the time....but post-piercing...cops seem to dislike you 3x's as much........or maybe thats just when you get tattoos......of swastikas or grow a hitler-esque mustache....as im planning to do to celebrate the 4th.

DeLaSoul- went to their show. I was impressed and had a very enjoyable evening. I believe this to be my first hip hop show, just as it was elliots'. DeLaSoul themselves were quite cool, and by the end of the night i had fallen in love with the group. They seem to have a lot of character and full-fatty-funloving spirits...atleast on stage. Due to me not really knowing any of the songs, i couldn't tell if they were doing a good job...but they were farily humorous and seemed to really get the crowd into their shit. They also taught me about the new 'hiphop flag' which is just "yo hands in tha air"....theyre so color blind they dont even use colors for a flag; nor materials...which i guess makes them un-materialistic.
The crowd, hm...a fairly even mixture of good dancers (blacks) and shit pieces (whites)....i truly felt equality in the room....for the first time ever i let someone of another color bum a ciggarette........i didn't really think about til now, hm....::ponders that point::
BEEF- why the fuck was there so much downtime between sets! it was fuckign ridiculous! the show could have ended far earlier than 2 o'clock had there not been atleast an hour before both crews came on. What the fuck takes so long....they have to set up some mics and a turntable...?.........i guess they are in the back gettin crunk or whatever.......and eating......
The mid-way 97.9 promo people were pretty funny, just by being black/drunk/high and completely random at times. As were many others in the crowd....but they got old after their gimmicks ran their course for 2 seperate interims of an hour and some odd minutes......
Maybe its not worth a mention, but the openeing act (the krackernutz) had a nice female backup vocalist.....they were from austin.....
Seems like i had more to say....but ive paused to think about how shitty it was to stand up for like 6 hours.....and have lost all trains in my brains.....

DO CARTER!
I DID!

mosquitos have 47 teeth

my soul is very dead today...much energy in my body, just none in spirit. In spite of my bloated body and dry mind, alot of good movies are coming out soon. Its an exciting time to be paying attention to fanboy/geek/indie film right now....weve got Spun(leguizamo, mena suvari in a well filmed meth movie...that will inspire people to do meth more habitually), Pool hall junkies (christopher walken and other billiards get to act cool), Solaris (soderburgh, cameron, clooney in a lethal combination space movie remake), Bubba ho-tep (bruce campbell plays an 80 year old elvis that's friends with an 80 yr old JFK in a retirement home), what else...hmm....daredevil (affleck plays a blind guy with a stick), and the Hulk (with jennifer "im hot for a pretty chick" connelly)..........theres a possible indiana jones 4, and 'batman and superman' movie possibly getting made...then ofcourse you have Lord of the Rings 2 or whatever.......but i missed the first one anyway.....to hell with it....or not
I need to watch that and a Beautiful mind....and Gummo....soon

BEEF- on ktru rice radio, the DJs are fairly bland and seem very 'too cool for school' or atleast 'your school' because rice is obviously a secret club in which only the cream of the kunt are allowed to attend.....before i go into any deeper of a slight digression...my real problem is lack of clear cut naming of what songs are being played....I find myself listening, enjoying, waiting....but never long enough to hear the names of any of the songs....Ive always had this problem.....and i figured it was just because rice rtf students were a bunch of unhumbled pricks, but i never dealt with it on a (close to) everyday basis. Now though, Im living in houston (basically), and it annoys me more than ever before....If these DJs must be so boring all i ask is that they make it easier on me to discern titles and artists....but this simple post will make no waves

today i believe i will fill my MP3 player with Big Black songs, to be in fashion with the day and my black black soul....not black as in race....
although, for something mostly irrelevant, i had a dream in which i was in high school but i had no friends except for Ludacris man. Together we carried out several pranks and ryhmed our way through, what turned out to be, one delightful day at school....

Its raining....rain may cleanse my soul.....but i think what i need is purification...shitfuck

i want to be a polymath

...but im in such a state of moribund that it seems i will not achieve my goals...
not really...i haven't posted in awhile...because i had a reasonably fun weekend in spite of my lashing out at my parents saturday afternoon on the subject of replacing dusting my room everyweek with a hundred dollars cash...i was being sardonic and using my best shifty persiflage with their irritable cleany souls
No Hope - apparently they are really cool. And rather good, as far as hard punk bands are/go. I was just thinking it was gus, since hes played the kit for years and has alot of drum core experience, and was taught by the same guy Chad Sexton (311) was taught by; However, Josh Gordon's little bass playing brother is excellent. Tink is alright at his vocal/guitar thang...maybe lacking some perspicacity....but he is definitely punk and some of the songs were really pretty funny.
Punk SHOOOws in general - are weird. the music conjures up alot of energy. energy that youd like to become kinetic on someone elses face while running around furiously. Yet...you dont, because you are not punk and you realize the music is stupid and moshing is stupid and punk in its purest essence is stupid. But i can listen to it occasionally....
HEY HEY!! theStart is playing @ Mary Janes on friday! and im gonna be out of town! damn....oh well.......someone i know should go...even though no one prolly knows who they are but me.....just to buy me a t-shirt or something....ill give you 20 bucks to go out and have an experience for me. Ill be at the frio river....which is also cool and hopefully relaxing and unstressful......its a-l-l good.

lance tricked me for about an hour with his WNV lies. I was fooled til i read somewhere that you must be bitten by an animal/bird that has been bitten by a mosquito previously infected with it. And your not very likely to die. It is fairly treatable if you see a doctor before you die.......so.....so what?
Im not as fuelish as fuels may think.

no coche ahora

fuck beans...
the car i got yesterday, well...i took it to the mechanics at Rick's auto mechanics...and apparently it has engine trouble. Fuck im getting tired of looking for a car....i even went out and bought a replacement volume knob for it and everything and now it must be taken away...hahahehehaha......not that funny. Dammit...
this puts me in a terrible mood, and im not allowed to listen to music at this unamiable office in order to smooth my course feelings....
Will there be some grand philanthropist car salesman that will grant me a decent car? Im too diffident to do it all by myself.

would it be mean to give meningitis to all your friends?
i think so...

my mood is toweringly terrible, so call this number: 713 622 3700
i should answer...til 3....and you can play a trick on me while im here at Lifetime Security Planners.

the errors are true

so like audio galaxy did in fact get closed, and will no longer be free if it comes back....due to being sued by the music industry....just as napster did. The industry released a statement that this should send a firm message to all other media sharing internet programs (kazaa, morpheus, aimster etc.) that are still up and running. This is horseshit! I want to be able to steal forever!
Im wondering...after free file sharing programs are all banned and illegal, will people pay monthly fees to access music?
I will...if it is under 7 dollars....I wouldn't pay by the song i dont think....esp. if it was 3 dollars a song or soemthing that god awful.....
i dont know of all the alternatives thought of...but whatever.
Oh my god! the best media site in the world is now open. moviepoopshoot.com
This site is outrageously good. The best one-stop media/entertainment source ever.....granted it cant go as in depth into music as id like....but it does provide adaquete information for my hunger on movie/tv news...
the abundance of collaborative work on this site is great....
in each category (movie/tv/music/comics)...there are many layers. It obviously has alot of people working on it to make it all come together to make this giant tasty ejaculation of information. Kevin Smith is behind it, just to let you people know. So you have warning to avoid it.
Today i wrote a short film...maybe 10 minutes....i want to make it....today
it involves a harsh break up....and then some killin! yah!

oh ya....im getting tired of katy alot. Its not that ive tired of my friends and acquintances that im currently seeing normally, so of course its the fact that there is nothing but my friends and acquantances that i like about this place. Yesterday i realized what a kiddie city it is. As i drove around mason road last night, everywhere we wanted to go, lied several young teens massing. I fuckin hate stupid high school children who get cars and then decide its cool to get 20 or 30 friends together and go to marble slab and then hang out in the parking lot afterwards and make fun of people because they are not as cool as them....
fuck this place....

oh wait....lance WILL die.....i suppose i will pray once ive confirmed his lie/claim....
damn west nile virus....

prepared by reverse osmosis....i am something odd on a plate

too much green, too much fun

i tried to do the thing that i wanted to do today....
i hope it works

put the 4-4 away and fuck....

im going to an astros game soon...::celebrates poorly::

falling down is so cliche

i just got back from the physical therapist...I feel bad lying to the overly bright and cheery people there because im really not hurt anymore....they give me massages and make me do gay exercises or calisthenics....and pull on a rubberband for about an hour.....so its not that bad....and eventually im supposed to get more insurance money....to go towards a new car.
I know...im one of those people....but what the fuck am i supposed to do? i have no car....i cant sue the indignent drunk fucker who totaled my car for money...and my car was only worht 2000 dollars......which is a bit far fetched for a decent car....
Although i dont have a car....i have no complaints really....im staying busy, on a decent schedule, making money, and saving money without having to pay for gas.....i just wish i had more time to write script.....
Yesterday at Jerod's house/ Summers party that she wasn't present at (while i was there atleast) we played "throw playing cards fast at eachothers head" which is honestly the best card game ive ever played....much better than hearts or spades or even poker.....and i got some aerobic exercise......Pretending to be the X-man, Gambit (the ragin cajun) was also a plus....
before the affair began elliot posed the idea of him needing to learn more card games.....and i suppose he 'learned' 1
if i were the elliot i would give that game a 10/10 $'s....

today ive been listening to this White Stripes band.....and i like them moderately....
i admire the use of only a guitar and a kit and making some rad rock in roll music, alot of which sounds like early 60's tunes i think...and that allows me to dig them a little more than weezer (the other band ive been listening to...not really comaparable).....fuckin power pop rock.....
plus the chick i want to say her name is Mic White, that plays the precussion is quite cute....and the guy....he is weird and unnattractive....i think

some say im easy....i just say my name is reesey...and thats how it all got started....woah

a wee bit

its quiet in the office now.....lunch time....solitude, solace, silence....aah
i ordered the vegetable plate from black eyed pea....mac and cheese, okra, and black eyed peas....ya...i was very critical of the peas.....for obvious reasons....they tasted more like soup than peas to me...how thoroughly dissappointed i was...huuuu......
i just spilt cokeacola on my shirt collar....shit...

yesterday Jenny was at work and during her duties she was asked to do several various tasks including epmtying out urine pans and making beds etc,....one thing caught my ear like Mike's "very very good" fish tackle catches fish... she had to take a squirt bottle and spray a post-pregnancy vagina (with a urine tube coming out of it) while another woman wiped it with a towel....it was bleeding from labor badly i guess.....im really unfamiliar with the specifics of pregnancy. Jenny is going to become my pocket dictionary on human biology....human dictionaries are always way better than the paper kind....kinda....
the internet kind blow them both away...

if someone has a reasonable idea for a short film...tell me.....im fresh out at this second...give me 5 mins

my sins are forgiven, there is no reason for me to be judged at the last judgement sirs,
my name is in the book of life....is yours? or are you blotted out?

you can have it if you want it

fuck it was a lousy day at work...a-many-a-people got pissed off at me on the phone...due to most of the important people in the office never returning phone callls....and then i had to staple resume's and stick addresses to envelopes...
my mother said "mondays are monstruous" and i admire her alliteration there...
i have such "ennui" (on-wee)
umm...sorry for saying anything religious yesterday....well....not really sorry....more like pardon me...
i can physically or maybe aurally feel that ive dulled my since of hearing a bit over the last year......yesterday i turned on the stereo in my room and placed it on my marked "good spot" for listening while attempting sleep.....and i coudln't hear it as well, barely at all....and had to move it up a bit....oh well
i know tooooo many stoners.....and too many stones....it sux

life after high school is funny and sad at the sametime.....
which poses a question in my head....
some say....smarter people can asess life and see it as a comedy, and unintelligent people cant and they see it as a tragedy.......BUT!
also....some say smarter people see the details and frustrations of life and tend to be more depressed because of it....and dumb people tend to be happier because they dont worry about details and frustrations....

so which is it???
i must know or i will implode and fall down

ok...i gotta go let jenny buy me a present somewhere....

h2

elliot is back in town...he had some variable religious experience while worshipping at church camp and has performed his metaphorical ablution, which sounds very "trite and banal" as he says....i dont castrate him....i support it i think....so far......he even says its not a "andrew johnston effect"
for the unknowing: Andrew used to go to church camp every summer and it would exacerbate his adament morales. He would give me and daren several lectures about not cursing and being "gross" and trying to decieve us with lies about how we have to be baptized 'with water' and losing salvation and all that load of stupor...(can i say load of stupor?)
but after a month we would break him down to his normal self....but eventually one summer we just stopped caring i suppose...plus he had seperated himself socially...and started picking up the trails of lost relationships me and daren had started....blah blah...

anyways....i dont like saying that ive had a "religious experience" while "worshipping" god.....for one thing i have a different definition of worship i suppose...sounds like filling your self up to the gils with sap emotion to most people/christians....or for an even larger extreme, powerhouse cult members....
my doctrine and spiritual life are very important to me and also very private....as i believe it should be
and here i am on the brink of letting myself type every point of dogma i have out on a public wepage....
if you'd like to wax learned in my doctrines....ill talk to you/elliot......i can ameliorate it all! not really...

anyways....i had my birthday yesterday....it wasn't terrible as most are....i got an Mp3 player
but it has a Nike endorsement...so it has "swooshes" all over its' components....it serves its purpose

Right now: Im's listening to "Doing the Standing Still" by the dismemberment plan...what a witty song

-my cellular phone is dead...so call me at home if you want at 3911256....if it is your kismet
-my sister has left town for a week....to help my cousin with her 3 children....

OH FINE MOM! HOWS WASHINGTON?!

dea-f-ieces

i hate to do it, but i think im going to mention briefly my bowel movements...sorry
here we go...every morning....consistently at 9:15....i have been taking a shit. This has aroused no one in the office here at National Estate Planning. Everyone in this office is a woman, except for the owners of course, becuase women cant own companies that make alot of money, off of people. So all these older women, at 9:15 listen to me as i request one of them to watch the front desk...then they watch me as i must go visit the keymaster (who is also a woman) for the keys to the restroom, then they laugh at me as i escape to the stalls of solace and porcelin.
Today,however,...im deciding to change my habits. At 9:15 this morning....I decided to hold in my shit. Currently it is 10:14 and im still going strong. I think my sphincter/anus actually has gained strength, or it feels that way kinda. My hypothesis is that it takes about two hours for those organs/muscles to actually come to life after having a poor nights sleep.....or maybe im just secreting my shit more efficiently as time goes by.... at 9:30 i thought i would shit my 'casual friday' jeans. Now though...i think i can go til 1 or 2. I get off at one today...so ill be ripe around the time i walk into my current abode....and ill take a dutiful and comfortable poop-break.

Jenny hung out with andrew johnston recently.....
He was angered with Jenny's new habit of smoking ciggarrettes. Jenny's rebuttle was that she promised herself that she would quit after college....Andrew replied facisciously "yeah right...just like Joey promised he would stop being gross after High School."

i cant change anything but my mind....or am i lying again

i think i got the comments working again...
ill post more later...
meanwhile..i found my glasses

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hey-zues kris-tehs

well...we finally are back online here at the graham household....
alotta stuff has happened in the past week+....
just to do a quick rundown....
some friends of mine went to jail.....after cops busted up a party at jenny;s
a drunk driver hit/totaled my car...and i had to go to the hospital....ruining my week
i had started a job at jasons deli, but after the second day....i quit because i cat deilver things wo/ a thing to deliver in.
jenny moved out of her apartment...
i started a new job with my mom....sorta
i went to my cousins graduation....
thats pretty much it.....i have such an interesting life....kind of a weird way to begin a summer though....
things seem to be coming along with sickseed....sorta.....we had a meeting.....ive been putting together ideas....
all the ideas end up sounding like something from either Kids or Gummo....if youve seen those....you knoweoweow....
311 is back in the studio.....
my cousin corey, who coincidently enough, looks like allen powell...has become a pot/coricidin guy.....he lives like 20 minutes away from me....but because his income is greater than my families'.....are clans dont socialize much....its too jarring i guess, class-wise....
but i want to call him...he seems fun to hang out with....and maybe i could get him to not become too much of a stoner.....and show him how to control and respect drugs.....i guess.......
fuck it!...ill never see him independly of his millionare family.....
my aunt is in denial....she was asking the family how she could get him to realize...and quit......or control him...........the obvious answer is punish him.....but after years of spoiling him with material things she does not really know how.....
all she needs to do is like....ground him.....but she wont.....
thats why i say "hell with it"

my little 5 year old second-cousin is at my house....visiting....
she is full of life and oh so prolific.....
i dont want to molest her.....just watch her....

why do black people grow so tall?????
because their knee-grows!!! (negroes)

heh.....

seek me hide me

new word to describe me is misanthropic. atleast i think so.
sorry for the lack of updates...ive prolly lost my small cult following....maybe i should start an occult following...then no one could ever 'leave'
anyways...ive been pretty busy..being a social butterfly, getting a job, etc. However today im going to stay home and watch Waking Life, which came out on video/dvd recently. I haven't seen my dads visage since like sunday...yet ive been here atleast for a little while everyday. Oh well...im also waiting on a sure-call from jason's deli...for some reason, in my interview, i was very extroverted, affable, and on the offensive..and consequently the guy seemed to like me...and wanted to get me a job above other people applying.
Yesterday i drank socially with my friends...and i think i have gotten grasp of all the secret things in katy....and i feel its less out of control, atleast presumably in my mind.
Saturday, im supposed to go write a script with Mike C and Daren...so i have to come up with things today, but i exercised earlier and i have the runners-high....which is the gayest high of all...it makes me feel ill rather than "cool"....cause everyone who gets high is cool, right?
on other thing, star wars 2 isn't that bad....it was enjoyable....except for the worst dialogue in history....and the hottest jew ever is Natalie Portman.
there is so much more to tell, but i wouldn;t want to spoil the surprise...

(that was from se7en)

site is down, i think...

hmm....i hope its a temporary problem...
tomorrow im going back to austin, for my cousins graduation. She is a smart baptist girl, but she was also recently purposed to by an atheist...which is disturbing the family. Oh well...the revolution keeps on churning...
Had some good conversation yesterday with a-many-a-people...still concentrating on how everything is way out of control here....
JaredMcMillan has the most putrid wasteland of an apartment...he really needs to clean it. Yesterday i went there and he had a nice array of alcohol despite the many messes....me being a gastronome and all, sipped fine beverages all night...
Oh shit....my girlfriend got into UT. So thats really exciting for her, and me....but more her......hopefully she will find a place to live and we can be a nice little conglomerate in austin.

it takes too damn long to get pictures on here, with this fucky 56k modem...

haphazardly in a crockpot?

today i went to HEB for an interview...fuck that place. They are so strict...everything by the book. The strain from their rigorous conducting of interviews is the culprit behind my maliase this morning. What happened to going to a place and the owner deciding if you could do the job, and then giving you the job...and coming to work the next day...Fuck theses corporate fuckers, making all these layers that you must burst through like a doped-up sperm trying to get in the egg with the phattest outer layer...just to get a damn job. But anyway...
Today im supposed to go to a gorcery store with amy and ask people something to the effect of "what does it take for one person to change the world?"....i have a feeling in katy, we will get protean ignorant answers, which will baffle me and question why so many stupid people are supported for survival in the world.
If anyone has any good answers to that question....ill come to your house and record what you have to say...cause id like the think i have interesting enough friends that they can come up with something intelligent to say....this is not a subterfuge....im trying to win a video contest......
im an inchoate filmmaker....it is my dream....it is my curse....
because ill prolly never make it big....and end up poor.....catching the H-train, living on mason road....in the shelter of the old cinema 8
oh well...
got my blackalicious album back....and thats all i need....just one more hit of the good stuff....

did you know heroin.com is a porn site?

overt kill

i guess my brief hiatus is over. im now in katy...
everyone here now is down with smoking weed...and apparently a few have gone beyond that. that sux....drugs dont really turn me on like they used to....drinking socially, i still have a hard on for....but too much dope just fuels my lassitude. And i really really loath hard drugs...and even rumors of people trying them in the communal, class of 01, partying, amc group bother me......so fuck that
if you have never seen platoon, and have any curiosity about vietnam...or why you see so many damn bums claiming that they are vietnam veterans, you should view this film....atleast once....Willem DaFoe is in it....so go watch it....
Interesting things happened last night at Demetrios's backporch shindig....besides adament pot smokin, and cooking hamburgers, and zany behavior.......interesting points:
-i saw charles.....chrales hughes. I really couldn't get his naked raped body out of my mind. Especially when he layed there, languid, from smoking a god-awful lot...the image was most vivid and potent.
-I learned that apparently Artie M. is pregnant.....or rather he and some girl are pregnant. Which is fuucked up. But i heard he quit smokin dope, as did his girl....and are apparently being adults about it.....so good luck to those two....in whatever they choose to do.
-lets see....what else.....
maybe there is nothing else....

oh well....ill leave you with this....
one of the worst shows in history....

Sister Sister...

::has a horrible pang::

so long suckas!

well....im signing off from austin....
so long fiber optic internet connection....so long extreme freedom....

katy.....fuck.....

lion tag

tonight im up late...not studying...with a belly full of bad fajitas and soda.
My flatmate, geoffrey schroyer, and i just finished watching star wars...episode one....
::sigh:: i feel a bit weathered from questioning myself as to why i watched it, having long ago eschewed it from my tastes. But i watched the insipid thing....and now have instilled in me a slight desire to see the new one coming out next week or something. Its really really terribly dissappointing that Star Wars is the most anticipated entertainment attraction dropping in on the houston area. Not a fucking good concert (or anything really) for the whole interim.....i suppose im tricking myself into being excited so that i can fulfill my meek predilection of actually being excited......
but Fuck that....but anyways....me and geoffrey got to discussing modern 'bad-ass' composers. He, being a music major and all, was trying to tell me John Williams was the reigning king, and that Hans Zimmer was the oncoming heir to some sort of musical 'throne'. Well....i have a different opinion.....fuck john williams and fuck hans zimmer. They are the bitch boys for a couple of cock-heads named Steven Spielberg and Michael Bay, respectively. Of course my counter argument was that Danny Elfman was the current despot of composing in the film industry today (keeping secret the fact that he is a bitch boy to Tim Burton). I mentioned him (elfman) earlier this week, because he did spiderman. This argument entailed a battle of a sort. We started downloading all sorts of themes/compositions from our selected agents and pitted them against eachother. Danny Elfman destroys Hans Zimmer on all accounts (except planet of the apes i think).....but danny and John Williams are kind of tough to compare. John Williams, ulitimately wins....but i think he is a homosexual.....
why did i watch star wars?....dear lord......
i end up looking up "star wars is fucking gay" on google.com and this is what i found.....from gay.com

Top Ten Sexually Suggestive Lines in the Star Wars
(allegedly)
"Get in there you big furry oaf. I don't care what you smell like!"
"Luke, at that speed do you think you'll be able to pull out in time?"
"Put that thing away before you get us all killed."
"You've got something jammed in here real good."
"Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?"
"You came(cummed) in that thing? You're braver than I thought."
"Sorry about the mess..."
"Look at the size of that thing!"
"Curse my metal body, I wasn't fast enough!"

ewwee...fagotry is funny...

i dont trust the taco cabana drive thru.....nor will i ever

k-town and heb bound.

aahh....fuck
im still studying alot.....and i think im coming down with strep-throat, of all things. I have a protean of things to study for my history exam....every fucking thing from 1492 to 1865 must be zipp locked and put in the freezer of my brain...there to be thawed for my saturday of doom. After i take that test....im getting "boozed" for the last time in austin til i move into my new flat next semester. Home...katy....future job at heb....discerning what has happened to old friends and acquaintances.........it's all coming so soon.....
HEB, hm.....I think i would rather be a pizza delivery man for the summer....so ill be checking that out before i sign my life away to the harem of ugliness at heb..........not that ill be fucking employees nor making them my wives....but i suspect some other sweaty obese person, there, is.....

no picture today......Why dont you just go eat your own shit! and take a Picture of that! MotherFuckers!.....

a good song to listen to in anxiety or loneliness would be System of A Down's "Spiders".....

i gotta stop masturbating out of my anxiety.....and then coming to my 'blog' and typing about it........

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Radioactive Spiderman

ya...i saw Spidy this weekend, twice. This is the plenary film adaption of prolly the best comic ever. But thats debatable. If you haven't seen it you should check it, check it out. I loved pretty much everything about it, except for 2 mistakes i noticed, and the oddly un-prolific score of Danny Elfman. Usually the "elf-man" does a great job (ie Batman, simpsons), but recently he has been sucking too much dick....with the floppy score from Planet of the Apes and now this. Maybe its not that bad....but it doesn't stick in your brain......not hum nor whistle-worthy. All the acting is superb though.....ive been waiting to see Willem Dafoe in a big role like this, and he delivers....almost as well as Jack Nicholsons "joker" from Batman (1989).......What Batman was for me, Spiderman will be for all the 8 year olds being raised on movies, nowadays.
One peeve exuded in my second viewing that i must intimate, is the annoyance of fucking little babies that cry during movies that tend to draw people away from their actual reality such as this one. Oh ya, and fuck the adults that are selfish enough to let the baby exist, or atleast exist in the theater through the whole fucking movie. I want to kill all these children, but I have control over my id....that sucks....
But seriously, if you haven't seen it. Please...do so. It will be worth your money......maybe......esp. if you see it for free because you have friends in "high places" at amc in katy, as i do. I think ill go watch it once more during the opening weekend of Star Wars, just to spite that whole de-sexualized franchise of fandom. Ill prolly see SW eventually.....when no one is watching.


One more mention i must make (alliteration?).....Jenny's/Mike's party Saturday night......was fantastic.......props to Michael and Alan for attaining the booze. Peace to all my homies present. Good time for all.........i think all that attended conquered any prom-going envy.......if they had any.....

whats the deal with katy being the hottest/muggiest place in the country this weekend?

a truth that has gone out of fashion...

today im off to katy for a short visit. Not the permanent one, so it lacks my aprehensiveness.
Ill prolly see Spidey.....hopefully......tonight....
I had a dream this afternoon in which the words from the second part of the Blackalicious song "release" was uttered, from a prophet type character before i was attacked by bear (do i fear bears?). I actually fell asleep to the album, and the album finally became intertwined with my subconsciousness on this track....perhaps the only person who will understand this is elliot.
It was really fucking cool....i thought i was dead.....
then i had a false awakening.....but the room was reversed....and i notice and then went lucid......but i couldn't hold it for very long.
fuck that....
anyone in katy tonight that likes me....ill be around....
::lets indolence envelop soul::
later....

By Demons be Driven

last night i had a wet dream..........
in other events, im still stuck on the eventual departure from my current abode. Its enervating my soul like fuck. So im listening to Pantera and emoting alot of built up shit....
Also, Jenny's supposed "best friend," which had been planning to move in an apartment with her in austin, suddenly had a change of heart, due to jenny getting flustered over the choice of other roomates to live with. So this girl went and got a lease application with some other folks, without telling her nor including her. This girl has been jenny's friend for 7 years or something....and like "good" friends that aren't supposed to shit on your face. But, she did, and jenny has no where to live in austin next year.....so that blows....
This poses a question, what the fuck kinda friend does that? I mean.....ive had friends at different times throughout my life, and several for quite a long interim. Only one comes to mind that kinda 'ditched' me in a sense....but he never would have left me homeless and distraught i dont think.....nor would i to him. In fact i still care for the guy.....(enough anonymity...its fucking andrew johnston)....and hope he is getting along well in all his endeavors.
How does jenny find these people, that are so backstabbing(? i guess). And so very un-condign for her personality.
Her situation lets me appreciate all my friendships......
so if youre my friend.......peace be with you, and thanks....
Due to this post not being very pungent, ill have a picture here....for your perverse interests....

there...ya happy now?....fuckers.

Emotion for Sale

so...there's this new store thats opened on the drag here in austin, called "Diesel." First of all, its the epitomy of the trendy-fucks' store. It goes beyond anything ive ever seen. And ofcourse, its mucho mas expensive. A pair of jeans, prefaded, pretorn, preshited-in runs around 70 plus buck-a-roos. And off the subject, every man who works their is a clean cut homosexual and then a 1 or 2 pretty alterna-girls. The thing that sets this store apart from Gap, Tylers, PAcific Sunwear, Old Navy, Urban Outfitters, is that they take the 'thrift shop look' to a whole new dimension, and it sucks. Trying to turn the longtime trend into something 'trendy' and expensive isn't cool, but i dont think this store, nore anything else, will be able to eliminate the thrift-shop/cheap-shitty look. Now...for why im writing about this stupid store. They have this advertising campaign which is fucking amazingly absurd. They claim to "sponsor" certain emotions and ideas, such as 'happiness' 'freedom' 'dreams' 'pleasure' 'romance' etc. Initially, this pissed me off. Seeing such a blatant example of advertising pushing the idea that "consuming brings 'happiness' 'pleasure' etc." However, today i visited their website (sponsoredbydiesel.com). Here it is obvious they are making a joke of consumerism. They have this scary as fuck, very punk-clad, red-mohawked, mascot/clown, named Donald Diesel...


who is the leader of a sort, of 'Happy Valley." This happy-valley is said to be a place where "happiness leeps and sadness sleeps, and the only emotions allowed are happy ones" and of course, as all good emotions now are, its sponsored by the 'good' people of Diesel. "So bring a smile on your face, and a major credit card in your pocket" it encourages. By being so flagrant, they seem to be taking sides with consumers' annoyance with unyielding advertising in the world today, by poking fun of it. The whole thing still promotes happiness from consumerism (which i feel is somehwhat immorale, and all too american) but I think that they do it in such an absurdist way, that it makes me chuckle at their attempt. I still hate the fucking store, no doubt. Perhaps very younger kids would take it seriously.....and follow suit, by paying for a pair of pant that a clown with a red-mohawk has taken a shit in. So in conclusion, i hate that a trendy-as-fuck store has come up with a really good ad campaign.....

Its a melancholy morn...

and im awake, and feeling rather low.....for no reason. I hate these sudden bursts of declined mood. Maybe it was incorporating fruit (grapes) into my diet again. I hadn't eaten fruit in what seems like a month. Maybe the depredations created by not eating fruit was eliciting a positive effect on mood. Although it might not be.....but maybe i wont eat fruit anymore. I'll stick to vegetables....this is assuming its a chemical thing. Which...its prolly not. More than likely, Its the anxiety of change (Finishing School and Moving back to Katy).
Soon, I'll be back in Katy....with a mundane job, and nothing to do but sit around and stare at the walls, and watch people die. Atleast their is kerosene around.....ill find something to do. Do i sound punk?

Replace kerosene with video-camera and you will have my true intentions....


I had a good idea for a movie. A man begins his own mormon-esque/perfectionist religion....going through several tribulations to increase he and his newly founded commune's bonhomie. He gets married, and his wife....and she is just as dedicated to gaudy-religion as he. They even claim to "hear," aurally, God. But then, the bitch dies.....and then the guy spends endless nights disturbing nights trying to resurrect his wife. He never accomplishes it, and you pity the fucker for going too far with religion. Then he goes blind somehow, and he goes to live with his mother who abuses him, as he digresses to a childs mentality. The end would be him dying on a floor in a fetal position. It would be a black comedy. Not "black" like black people....black...like....beyond "dark" comedy. Or maybe "black" like black people...but its hard to make black people look really really feeble....



maybe im wrong...(?)
...The point would be to downplay religion, and uplift independent study of religion, making it a personal thing, instead of social dung......maybe its stupid.


i cant find anything to make me laugh tonight....
not even the Handsome Boy Modeling Boy song "Modeling Sucks" does the trick.......that usually gets me every time......
Spiderman's out this weekend...kewl

Taciturn rape dream...ew

alright....im just gonna do this quick, so i can dictate to you all the most abominable dream that ive ever had to sleep through. Truly this is the most macambre and profane thing my mind has ever vomited. Alright, Im in a very southern border-esque town in texas. Altough me and a group of unsanctioned law enforcement people are inside of a building, it's furiously hot. As i look outside i see the sun is ardent and unremitting. Me and the crew of older men are viewing some tapes on a 80s television set (very grainy imaging). I think im supposed to be in the psychological area of my department, because the content of the tapes is the most morbid shit one could contemplate. Im gonna try to transscribe the details a bit, but you have no idea the horror i awoke too in the middle of the night.
We were watching prison tapes from a dirt floored, seedy, non-airconditioned, boiling mexican prison. Apparently, video cameras had just been introduced to the masses and much experimenting was taking place. In this case i was watching the habits of prisoners. We sifted through some tapes, of which there was moderately disturbing things (ie jew concetration camp-ish) but then, i came to a prisoner whos visage matched that of Charles Hughes. For any of you who know, this particular visage is not a pleasent one. On top of that, the short chubby dirty pimply sweaty hispanic was naked, and also fettered loosely. After about 2 hours it seemed, Charles was given three slightly larger and uglier, nude hispanic cell-mates. A short time passes and then the shackled cell-mates use their bulk and start beating the shit out of charles, leaving him very bloody and in a panic. Then one cellmate tosses Charles' sack-like body to the floor, and begins to penetrate his anus, ofcourse, in a "prison rape" style. Another inmate picks up charles sullied head by the hair and force feeds him his dick by jarring open his mouth with one hand, and pulling his hair with another. Charles goes into an extreme panic and the more he resists the more they 3 inmates bludgeon him to a fucking pulp. The 2 larger hispanics shoot their loads into Charles' cavities, and they begin to rotate in taking turns. This seems to go on for hours, and with every second passing, Charles becomes more and more langusihed. The sight of seeing one man fuck his ass, another forcing oral sex, and him, laying there, becoming listless from exhaustion was fucking disturbing. After a good number of rapeish climaxes are achieved, a break is taken by the three, and then the dust settles, and Im exposed to what is left of Charles. He seems dead. He has dried blood covered with a fresh coat of blood, which is working as an adhesive for the sand he is covered in. his face is near black with cracks of brown and red running down where tears and sweat reveal his battered skin. Yellow semen mixed with sweat seems to ooze thickly from not only his asshole, but his mouth. Other patches of dried semen are evident throughout the course of his burning back, face, and hair. I cant tell if their is breath coming from his severely chapped and bloody lips, but i see a slight tremor in one of his fingers. By this time, I am thoroughly sick, but i do not wake up. We go through several more tapes that reveal that the tale does not end, and that the next day, the unrelinquished prisoners begin there rape party again. The three, still seeming to enjoy themselves, are so tanciturn in their efforts, it scares the shit from me even now. By the end of the 2nd or 3rd day, charles is fucking dead, and the rape enthusiasts are officially necrophiliacs.
Eventually, I suppose, hardened semen was blocking all orifices, because they pushed the body to the corner......after seeing the last kick of the body...i awoke in a sweat. And the Worst possible image in my mind! I will never forget what Charles' body looks like getting raped by 3 men, and him lying there, exhausted, unable to fight back......
sorry this is fucked up.....but you now know something of my horror that will haunt me for atleast......a week or so......

i wonder how charles hughes is doing......i feel like i should call him or something......