go lance armstrong, you fucking cheater.

i went through my annual "deep ponderance" of my own existence, and everythings existence in general. Ive found that i do this about once a year in the mid summer months, hardcore....and then again sometime in the beginning of winter, softcore....
i just cant seem to get through a year without doing this to myself....
i ask myself many questions about everything, and eventually i answer them with my faith in what the bible says about things in general....although....i never picked up a bible, and rarely ever do.
its stange how it sort of just puts everything on pause in my life, and sorta eclipses everything this life on earth is.
when i climb out of it, i feel recharged....but never the same.

i got over this certain form of depression (if you want to call it that...i dont know if i want to), just in time to visit the city of Las Vegas.
there i lost 300 dollars, and felt a different....very real in a human sense....depression. but im over it.
vegas is very much an adult playground.....but just like a playground it is not without its rules, and the threat of authority...
a lot of the time i felt nervous because of this.....more so than in your typical bar.

my parents' new home is very nice. you should visit it.
school is coming already....one last time.

the empty

summer fun has kept me away. I dont feel like im having that much fun, but i suppose im staying busy, and thats good.....which i could translate as fun......good....fun.....its all the same. whats fun? who knows?
words are weird. i feel like if there is one thing that needs to evolve its our communication abilities....using these vocal and visual mediums are just not enough. I can say something...but i can only hope that you have had enough similar experiences with a word that you can understand what im talking about....ive prolly talked about this before....sorry.
i saw spidey 2. It is the best movie ive seen in a while. in agreeance with someones blurb they use in the post-opening tv-spots....it probably is the best superhero movie ever. and im happy to be alive to see it.
ive heard great things about this burgundy movie...will see soon.

....there is a documentary to be released that is an actual documentary and not so much an agenda pusher...which i find terribly annoying most of the time. A doc on Metallica. the creators are also actual documentarists (a real word?) with an extensive catalogue of films with their names on them, and not just some fanboys/meatheads with cameras.

i also saw king arthur.....i thought it was good as well....despite thinking i would hate it. its not perfect but its enjoyable. its just very very hollywood cinema, but some how very low key, which creates this "cool" vibe. i think it was a mistake to release this film in the summer.....i think its definitely a christmas kind of thang.....it could have easily made a shit load of money by replacing the void that lord of the rings will leave this coming christmas. Someone wasn't thinking.

movies are so much better than my puzzling real life.