checking in

I am now an uncle.
The extension of my immediate family is interesting to say the least.
After the devolution of the good ties I felt to my extended family on either side over the past 5 years (excluding a handful of cousins), I felt ever closer to my simple 4 family unit. With a 5th member, I'm now seeing how extended families dissolves into new extended families. Ofcourse to flesh it out, I guess my sister would have to make more children than my parents have (2). The idea of having children still makes me queasy at best. I worry too much about the future of life on earth. I pine over lower population every day I drive to work. I use all flourescent bulbs, because of paranoia (and cheapness). How could I bring a child into this rotting world?
I can barely stand it at times...whether its this earth, this country, this city, this body, or this mind....Being alive can at times be extremely alienating.
But I have to rely on my belief in the 100% absurdity of life....

"I Fill my mouth with dog shit, and let it resonate. Unable to spit it out, for reasons unknown."

I try to picture myself in this situation at times...just to put me in that state of mind..... "Everything is absurd"

I guess having kids can't be any more or less absurd. I'll have to ask my sister if she sees a difference in a mouth full of shit and having a child...



One day we will all shit robots....

GO SEE THE FOUNTAIN. IDIOT!