feeling red

anyone believe god tests them?
i consider most of my strife in life to be testing, rather than punishment, from God. I dont know what punishment would come from....maybe rejecting your fellowship with god, as a christian....or more generally forgetting about god. Or maybe god doesn't punish.....
punish is just a word....so is testing.....its all relative anyway. Ill think what i think.
ANYWAYS



But im trying to not be bitter about my situation, but its leading to mild unhappiness....so i suppose im reevaluating what really makes me truly happy. Its hard, when all i seem to need/want is money. So im re-focusing. excuse me.


hopefully my soul is not as broke as my bankaccount.

goal: job/internship/make commercial/win contest/write short/make short/love